For my Grandma

Every day Alzheimer's takes a little stronger hold on my beautiful Grandma. She has always been one of the most loving, caring, fun women I have ever known. She has taken care of her family and my Grandpa as he has struggled with Parkinson's disease. I love her so much and am terrified of the day that she no longer knows us as her family.
When the last Dixie Chicks album came out I was listening through it and came upon a song that instantly brought tears to my eyes. It is a tribute to Natalie Maines' grandmother that has Alzheimer's, and has become my song to my Grandma as well. I just wanted to post the lyrics here. If you have someone in your life suffering from this life sucking disease please pay attention to these words. We must be the ones who carry on the lives of these people who cannot carry them on themselves.

"Silent House"

These walls have eyes

Rows of photographs

And faces like mine

Who do we become

Without knowing where we started from

It's true I'm missing you

As I stand alone in your room

Everyday that will pass you by

Every name that you won't recall

Everything that you made by hand

Everything that you know by heart

And I will try to connect

All the pieces you left

I will carry it on

And let you forget

And I'll remember the years

When your mind was clear

How the laughter and life

Filled up this silent house

One room, two single beds

In the closet hangs

Your favorite dress

The books that you read

Are in scattered piles

Of paper shreds

Everything that you made by hand

Everything that you know by heart

And I will try to connect

All the pieces you left

I will carry it on

And let you forget

And I'll remember the years

When your mind was clear

How the laughter and life

Filled up this silent house

Silent house

In the garden off the living room

A chill fills the air

And the lilies bloom

And I will try to connect

All the pieces you left

I will carry it on

And let you forget

And I'll remember the years

When your mind was clear

How the laughter and life

Filled up this

And I will try to connect

All the pieces you left

I will carry it on

And let you forget

And I'll remember the years

When your mind was clear

How the laughter and life

Filled up this silent house

Silent house

Waiting.........

Does time ever move slower than when a pregnant woman is waiting for her Chinese to be delivered? I think not.

FAQ's

1. Was this planned? Hell to the N-O!
2. So, what happened then? Larry went to Las Vegas, we missed each other, and then *poof* I was pregnant. We do know how these things happen and we tried to not let it happen. Obviously, our efforts were not enough.
3. When are you due? November 22nd
5. Are you hoping for a boy this time? I really don't care this time. Sometimes I think it would be really cool to have three little girls. Other times I think I have enough girls and we need a boy. Most of the time I just don't care.
6. Are you excited? I am getting there. This was a BIG surprise and it took a while to get over the shock of the whole thing. I am still not completely at peace with the idea, but as Larry says, there is nothing we can do now! We will of course love this baby just as much as our other two and I am sure I will get to the point where I am just as excited as I was last time.
7. Are you ready for three? No, but I wasn't ready for one, and then I wasn't ready for two. So at least this time I know it will be fine and will all work out in the end.
8. What are your biggest worries? It is mostly stupid little stuff like how the hell I am going to fit three carseats in my car and how bedtime will work when we have more kids than we have parents to deal with them. I am also worried that Vanessa won't have much time as the "baby" and if she is going to resent that as she gets older. Nat had three and a half years alone and now all of a sudden we are going to have a whole gaggle of rugrats.

9. Is this pregnancy any better then the last two? So far, not really. I have only thrown up once (which is good...I guess), but I have a lot more nausea that doesn't go away. I don't eat and I feel sick, I do eat and I feel sick. Fun. The main difference with this one is that smells are KILLING me. I don't remember it being this bad before. I can hardly feed Ness, have you smelled that gross baby food lately? It can make you sick even if you aren't prego. These are just some of the things that I thought I might die from smelling: chicken legs baking in the oven, Vanessa's diapers, cigar smoke, little fruit flavored baby puffs (I didn't even know these had a smell), my burrito as I was eating it (and yes, I finished it. I just plugged my nose. It still tasted good), toothpaste, and my dogs doggy-like smell.

10. How does Natalie feel about it? She is very excited. She loves babies, especially her little sis. She is SURE it is a boy. No question for her. She doesn't tell people we are having another baby, she tells people she is having a little brother.

Let's see....

So, what has been going on in our lives you may ask. Just the normal, every day stuff. Yesterday a little girl in Natalie's class drew on her shirt in permanent marker. I wasn't thrilled, but it wasn't her best, or most expensive, shirt..so I'm not too mad. Really I just wonder how the kid got a permanent marker!
We have had some plumbing issues, but we had the plumber out yesterday and I think they fixed it all. Of course it all came up (quite literally) on Easter so Larry had to stay home taking care of it while the girls and I ran up to my uncle's house so Natalie and Vanessa could find their baskets and play with the other kids for a while. We had a really nice time. It is always so good to see everyone. The kids were spoiled, of course, and had a great time.
Let's see...what else.... hmmmm.....oh, yeah...I'm pregnant...again. Yeah.

Images of Easter

Coloring eggs (wearing my old sweatshirt)

Nat "helping" Vanessa find her basket

All that stuff and she just wants the stupid fake purple grass.Vanessa found her egg...

..and promptly tried to eat it.

My girls

Having a "sister moment"

HAHAHAHA......Oh, Sorry, That's Not Funny

Inappropriate Laughter Story #1:
Yesterday I made Natalie mad at me (big surprise) by telling her she could not have any ice cream before dinner. I thought she was over it....I thought. A little while later she was sitting on the floor with Vanessa brushing her hair and talking to her. They were being so cute and sweet that I had to "hide" in the dining room and observe their sisterly love. Natalie was talking to Vanessa and Vanessa was sitting there looking up at her big sister adoringly. Then I heard Natalie saying this:
"OK, Nessa. Listen to me. Say this just like me, 'Mama is an idiot'".
My first reaction should have been anger and maybe a time-out. So what was my first reaction? One of those nose snort laughs that you try not to let out but just cannot stop it no matter what you do. They didn't hear me because they were too busy agreeing that I was, in fact, an idiot. After I controlled myself I took Nat in the other room (she tends to show off in front of her sissy) and told her that she should never call names and she WILL NOT teach her almost one year old sister to say those mean things and if I heard it again she would be sitting in time out and wouldn't get any ice cream at all. She said sorry and hugged me and we didn't have another incident. But, yeah, big sisters are great.

Inappropriate Laughter Story #2:
After I finished reading to Nat last night for bed we were laying there talking. She asked me if I dreamed at night and I said, yes I do. I asked her if she did and she said that yes, she did, but sometimes they were scary dreams. So we started talking about scary dreams and how it's just the mind making up stories. The lights were off and we were snuggling in bed and she began telling me about a dream she had had.
"There was a big spider with tons and tons of legs and it was crawling all over the wall and then it went on the ceiling and it was crawling around and looking at me......and it had a mustache!"
I couldn't help it. I started laughing and I couldn't stop. All I could picture was this big animated spider with a huge black mustache. It was too funny!!! I felt bad because here was my sweet little girl telling me about this horrible dream and I was laughing. Then she kept saying, "why do you laugh when I say mustache?" Well, that just about did me in. I was trying to be quiet, but I was laughing so hard I had tears. She started laughing too and we hugged and talked a little bit about how next time she had that dream she should just laugh at that spider and not be scared. I think it turned out to be a good conversation in the end.

Kids are funny, even when they aren't trying to be. Especially when they are not trying.

March Madness

I am obsessed with college basketball. It is an addiction. I watch every KU game and try to catch other teams as often as I can. I go to ESPN.com daily and watch Gameday every Saturday. I look forward to Selection Sunday and the NCAA tournament like I look forward to my birthday. Yeah, it's a sickness.

The bracket came out on Sunday and within 30 minutes I had done my picks, made Larry do his, and started Natalie with hers (but then she picked Portland St over KU and I had to disown her). I am so excited to get this tourney going! I signed up for the VIP pass on the Internet so I will have access to all the games. Since I have kiddos and a life off the court, I will not be able to watch as much as I would like, which is probably good. It has been said that you can have too much of a good thing, but I have never thought that applied to KU basketball, kisses from my kids, and buffalo chicken wings. You know, the important things in life.

Luckily, I married someone who likes basketball too. He prefers pros, but he is a college fan as well. The only problem is he likes North Carolina. This has made for some tense moments in our marriage (when Roy Williams left my team for his I was afraid we would have to get a divorce. I imagined filing and when asked for the reason I would say "irreconcilable basketball differences). UNC and KU are on the same side of the bracket this year so it would be a possibility for the two to play in the final four. If this happens I really don't think Larry and I would be able to watch the game together. Maybe not even in the same zip code. Possible not with access to the phone. It would not be out of the realm of possibility for one of us to call the other after a particularly good play and say something to the effect of "suck on that Tarheel loser wussy boy!" While the immediate gratification might be totally worth it, in the long run it is not usually considered a good idea to call your husband a "loser" or a "wussy".

I hope you all have as much fun watching these next couple weeks of basketball as I will. Rock Chalk Jayhawk, Go KU!!!

Totally random stuff

I love days like this. All cloudy and rainy. For some reason this has always been my favorite kind of weather. Now, I wouldn't like it all the time, but for a change of pace give me some thunder and lightening and I will be happy. There are a few things about rain that I have come to not enjoy. For one thing, my little dog Axel HATES thunder. He totally freaks out. So about 6 this morning I had a dog running around my bed going nuts. I had to get up with him and sleep on the couch with him buried into my side and a blanket over him to drown out the sound. I was more than a little annoyed since both the girls were finally sleeping soundly after a night filled with coughing and crying. They are both getting over various degrees of sickness and are still having trouble sleeping at night. The other thing that I do not like about the rain is that our street becomes a lake and our basement leaks in the corner when it rains really, really hard. Knock on wood, it hasn't leaked today because although there has been a lot of rain it has been spread out over enough time that we are still ok.
I will never forget waking up a couple of months after we moved into this house and finding out what happens when it rains all night. I looked out the front window and all I could see was muddy water. It was covering the streets, it was over the sidewalk, and any time a truck or car managed to drive through the flood the water would wave up into our driveway. I think we might have been able to surf if we were so inclined. I woke Larry up and we went outside. We were shocked. No one told us this could and would happen so it was quite a surprise. Then we went into our basement. We saw the waterfall coming down from the window and had to hustle up any towels we could find. We used every single one we owned. We have since perfected our technique. We have the corner clear except a plastic tub of plastic toys that will be ok and a pile of provisional old towels. We have developed a system where I grab towels, Larry lays them out and then we both check them constantly. And then there is the clean up. We have loads of wet gross towels and a wet concrete floor that we scrub so it doesn't get moldy or anything. We have tried and tried to fix the leak, but then another pops up. I think the foundation needs some major work. But for now we will stick to our own personal flood plan.
Wow, I went on and on about that, huh? I have sooooo missed writing my blog lately. I would come up with the best posts and then I forgot them all by the time the computer got fixed. It was so frustrating.
My girls are growing up so fast. Vanessa has two bottom teeth and is running (yes, running) all over the house. She refuses to crawl anymore. She is still so small, it looks so cute for her to be walking all over the place. Natalie is doing great. She has been really well behaved lately (for the most part...she is still 4). The other day she was coloring a picture of a fairy when she called me over to see it. "Look mom, I gave her ankles." I looked at her foot area and couldn't see what she was talking about. She pointed at her face where she had added little dots, "see, just like my ankles." OOOHHHH!! Freckles!!!!! I had been telling her earlier in the day that I was glad she had been able to get out in the sun again because her nose had little freckles on it again. And she remembered the word as ankles. Too cute!
Ok, this has become kind of random and rambling. Maybe next post will be a little more organized and interesting!

Oh internet..how I've missed you!!!!

I'm back finally!!!!!
Our computer caught a virus and was out of commission for a while. But Larry fixed it today and I can get on again! I went a little crazy without being able to write my blog and read everyones.
I have lots to talk about, but really should be playing with the girls...so I will try to get on later and post again. Just wanted to say hello again!

Consignment Sale!!!!!!

I just wanted to let all of you out there with kids in the Wichita area know that starting today the giant consignment sale in Andover is open. It is located on Kellogg just west of Andover at 159th street at the Wholesale Fireworks building. I put quite a few things in and got to go to the presale last night. There are some great things at really good prices. If you are in need of spring or summer clothes this is THE place to get them. They have all sizes and it is all sorted out by gender and size so it is easy to go through. They also have toys, baby and kid equipment, bedding, and just about anything else you could want for your munchkins. I go every year and have found some of the best clothes and toys we have. You really can't beat it. So go if you can. It is open today, tomorrow and Saturday is half price day. The web site is www.britchesandlace.com.

MOTY

My quest for the title of Mother of the Year is almost complete. I would suggest you don't even apply, how could I lose with this resume?!?

It wasn't enough that I am carrying around a baby who looks as if she was one round away from having Tyson bite off her ear. No, that wasn't enough. This afternoon I had to call poison control. Yeah, I've got MOTY in the bag.



It all went down innocently enough. I was giving Vanessa a bottle to get her down for her nap. Natalie was playing dolls in her room. All was serene. When I look back on it I should have known something would happen. It was way to "Norman Rockwell-esque" to be our house. Ness had almost drained her bottle when I saw Natalie go into the bathroom and shut the door. No big deal, right? She was probably just pottying. But she stayed in there longer than normal. Still no big deal. Who hasn't had a trip to the bathroom that lasted longer then someone else thought it should. Still, I wanted to know what was going on in there. I hurried Vanessa through the last ounce, put her into bed and walked into the bathroom. There was my girl, her toothbrush in one hand, my toothpaste in the other, and a shit-eating grin on her face.

"What are you doing Nat?"

"Brushing my teeth." (if she knew to she would have rolled her eyes and said duuuuuh)

"Did you already use Mommy's toothpaste?"

"Yes, I put a lot on my toothbrush."

"A lot?"

"Yes. I ate it. Then some fell in the sink. I ate that, too."

Now, I know that eating toothpaste is not good. Especially kids eating adult toothpaste. I couldn't really tell how much she had eaten. The tube was already half gone when she got a hold of it, but it was obvious she had been squeezing on it. I asked her if she felt alright, and she did, but I knew I should still call poison control. They told me that at her weight she would have had to eat 4 ounces to really hurt her and I knew she hadn't had that much. They told me to give her calcium and that should help, but her tummy might hurt a little. She had cheese and a glass of milk with dinner and a bowl of strawberry ice cream for dessert. She said that her tummy hurt a little, but that could have been because of all the ice cream. She seems fine now and we have had a nice long talk about not eating ANYTHING in the bathroom, ever!!!!!!!!!

In four years I have had to call poison control twice. Both times were probably due more to my overreacting then any real danger, but I am a strong supporter of the better safe then sorry method of parenting. Luckily both kids' injuries and illnesses have been fairly minor (knock on wood....twice). I just want to keep it that way. Even if I don't win any parenting contests.