Five.

Today is Natalie's fifth birthday. Five. As in the age that kids are when they go to kindergarten (which she will in the fall). As in the age when she is officially a big girl. As in one year closer to not needing her mommy anymore (sob, gasp, sob). Can you tell I'm having a little trouble accepting this?

So to honor this huge milestone in my babies life I am going to tell her birth story...finally!

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In April 2003 Larry and I had been married for about ten months and had just moved from our temporary place in his parents basement to our first house. It was in this house that I realized that I was "late". Looking back I see that in my heart I knew I was pregnant. At the time I denied it up and down, even after I took an old pregnancy test I had in the medicine cabinet one day when Larry was at work and it had two very distinct lines. I figured the test was so old that it had become defective. But I knew. So when Larry got home I casually suggested we might want to make a Wal-Greens run and pick up a pack of tests. I left out the part that I already had gotten a big fat positive. We got the tests, came home, I peed on the stick, and we waited. We went into the bathroom together and saw the two lines that meant our life was no longer just ours.

I will admit freely that I completely broke down in sobs. Not because I didn't want a baby, but because I was scared. I have never been a big fan of change, and you can't have a more major change then having a baby. I cried into my husband's chest and he said all the right things. He told me everything was going to be ok. We were married, we loved each other, we had a house now, everything was going to be fine.

My pregnancy was not all that fun. I had morning sickness, afternoon sickness, and night sickness the entire time. Even though I didn't particularly enjoy the pregnancy there were some definite high points. I will never forget the sensation of her moving around in my tummy for the first time. People tell you what it is going to be like. It will feel like butterflies, or bubbles popping, or gas. But words can't really describe it because it is not just a physical feeling, it is also an emotional one. At least it was for me. All of a sudden I was the caretaker of a growing and changing person. I was the shelter and the sustenance keeping this little being alive. I was a Mom.

My original due date was December 19th and it later changed to December 25th. I was going to have a Christmas baby. Time passed and we prepared for the impending arrival of our daughter. We made the room that was being used as storage into the nursery. We painted it light yellow with mint green trim. We got a crib from some of our best friends and set it up. I had three baby showers and received all the baby paraphernalia that I could ever need. We grew more anxious and nervous by the day. At last December arrived. The month went on and Christmas came and went. Still there was no baby. My body wasn't even acting like it was going to have a baby anytime soon. So my doctor and I decided to help things along a little bit.

On the evening of December 29th I checked into St Joe hospital for an induction. As the nurses and doctors came in and out of my room, doing everything they needed to do I was in a daze. They placed the cervadil, they gave me an IV, they checked my progress (none), and then we all sat back to let things happen. I watched the KU basketball game against Binghamton (we won 78-46). I attempted to read the magazines I brought with me. My Mom spilled an entire cup of coffee all over my bedside table. And we still waited. Everyone else went home for the night so I could sleep. The next morning after a night of tossing and turning, or as much as I could while hooked up to the IV and the blood pressure monitor, I was cramping. Being naive and not knowing what to expect I was worried. Throughout the entire pregnancy cramping had been a bad thing, something we didn't want to happen. So I called in the nurse and with fear in my voice, and my heart, I told her I felt like I was having menstrual cramps. She smiled and said that I was beginning to go into labor.

They started the pitocin and things got going fairly quickly. It hurt more then I could have ever expected. I remember laying on my side, gripping the bed rail, and counting to ten over and over and over again in my head. I tried to ignore the pain but if you have ever had a child you know that that is an impossibility. They suggested I get into the bathtub and aim the water jet at my back where I was feeling a lot of pain. That helped quite a bit and at some point they said I HAD to get out. I think I begged for just a little more time to no avail. After laboring a little longer they brought in the epidural. And then there was no more pain. All of a sudden I could sit and talk to my family who was there to support me, and more importantly see the new baby when she arrived. They had to reboost the medicine once when I started moving along more quickly, but all in all I was one comfortable pregnant lady. There was one final check of my progress and then it was time to push. They told me to push every time I felt a contraction, but at that point I couldn't feel any contractions. So they began telling me when I was having one and I pushed as much as I could while having no feeling in my lower body. It didn't take that long and at 2:45 in the afternoon I had a healthy and beautiful 6 pound, 7 ounce baby girl that we named Natalie Isis.

Since then it has been a whirlwind of watching my first born grow up. She learned to walk and talk, she celebrated birthdays and holidays, she became a big sister twice, she started preschool. And through it all she remained my baby. My daughter. My heart.

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We love you Natalie. You are an amazing little girl. You make us proud daily with your humor, your wit, your compassion, and your intelligence. Your Daddy and I wish you the happiest fifth birthday ever. You will always be our baby, but we are excited to watch you grow into a woman. Happy Birthday!!

Christmas from start to finish: pictures, pictures, and more pictures!

The Saturday Before Christmas: with my cousins and their kids making the sweet treats for the big family Christmas party.

Natalie and I making the peanut butter cookies

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Natalie and Ava dipping pretzels (they ate more then they dipped)
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Natalie and Audrey mixing up the bread

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Cadyn and Vanessa dipping pretzels..and yes they would dip the pretzel lick off the chocolate and then dip again....but come on, we're all family, right?

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Cambree, Ivy, and Vanessa

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Vanessa, Me, Ramie, Audrey, Natalie, Ivy, Cambree, Michelle, Asa, Ella, Becki, Brennan, and Ava

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Christmas Eve: Larry's family over for dinner and presents!

The girls and their cousins Ryan and Hailey ready to tear into some presents
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My nephew Brayden on his first Christmas Eve

........................ Aunt Lesley helping the girls open stuff

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Nat with her new remote controlled dog "Scott"

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Our Christmas Eve

Here Allie, open these!

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Me and my girls in their matching jammies

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Christmas Morning

Santa was good to the girls!

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Vanessa opening her first present of the year

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Natalie with some of her stuff

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"Oh my gosh! It's a Baby Alive!"

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The aftermath

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Christmas at Nana and Papa's

The three cutest Christmas girls ever!

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Nana with Allie and Nessa

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Papa and Nessa reading

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Helping Nana make Christmas dinner

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Natalie and her Christmas cake

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Christmas at my cousins house

Daddy and Allison

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Grandma and Grandpa singing Christmas carols

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Mom and Aunt Marilyn singing Christmas carols

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A gaggle of kids ready to open presents

File this under: Things They Should Tell You

One of the most anxiety ridden moments of my life was way back on December 31, 2003 when the nurse came into my hospital room and told me that I could take my new baby home soon. There I was, blissfully relaxing on the queen size bed, ordering in room service, watching movies on the DVD player, and anytime I had any question about this new little tiny person that was suddenly attached to me at the boob all I had to do was push a button and a nurse would come make it all better. Is she latched on correctly? Call the nurse! Should she be making those noises when she sleeps? Call the nurse! Seriously, is she latched on correctly because this hurts like hell? Call the nurse! I had everything I needed and now they wanted to send me home? Without a little button to call someone who actually knows what they are doing? I was nervous to say the least.

No less then three hours of waiting and panicking later the nurse made one final appearance to go over the list of "taking care of your baby" guidelines. The list included all kinds of good advice. To avoid shaken baby syndrome don't shake the baby. Put the baby to bed on her back even if every time you do she screams bloody murder. Dress the baby appropriately, not too warm, not too chilly. Now here is a prescription for percoset, enjoy!

I paid very close attention not wanting to miss anything that would come in handy later when I was alone with my new daughter. I already had books that told me all this at home, and of course I had the Internet that was always there to scare me with the WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO for anything I looked up (search: oozing belly button. find: 99 ways your baby could by dying this very minute). I had my Mom that had been through all of this before. Still, I don't think anyone can be completely prepared for bringing home your own baby for the first time.

The biggest surprise to me was my new found obsession with my babies poop. I kept pages upon pages of data on each and every diaper and what it contained. I called my mom, the pediatrician, and random friends and family (sorry!) to report on changes in frequency, consistency, amount, and appearance. I needed constant reassurance that it was normal. To me normal poop equalled normal, healthy baby. It made me absolutely crazy with worry when she wouldn't poop when I thought she should. I would continuously check her diaper to make sure there wasn't something there that wasn't two minutes ago when I checked last. I would research infant constipation and push on her little tummy to see if it hurt. I basically annoyed my child and everyone around me with my poop fixation.

You would have thought that now, two more children later, I wouldn't be so caught up on pooping. You would be wrong. I am constantly worrying about all three of my girls bathroom habits. Are they going enough? Are they going too much? Is is really supposed to smell or look like that? And when did she have corn?!?! I have talked to other mothers that are equally fascinated by their children's deposits so I know I'm not the only one. If I were a nurse during the check out process for new mothers this is something I would definitely add to the list. You will become obsessed with poo...and it is completely normal.

Family Dynamics

As an only child, I was always fascinated by the dynamic that existed in the households of siblings. I had friends and cousins with brothers and sisters that I watched with curiosity, but I knew that what I saw was not the half of it. I knew there must be things that I wasn't seeing. The quiet, private moments and thoughts that occurred when the fights over the last slice of pizza were over. I am now getting that glimpse that I always wanted.

My girls are sisters. They always will be. No matter what, all three of them will be able to say they are a part of a family with more than one kid. They fight. They make up. They worry about each other and protect each other. They drive each other completely crazy. They love each other like crazy.

It is neat to see the roles that everyone plays in the family develop. Natalie is the quintessential big sister. She is bossy, a know-it-all, and an attention hog. She likes for things to go her way, and just can't accept it when they don't. To be honest, she and I have quite a bit in common. This is probably why we butt heads so often. Vanessa is my little snuggle bug. She is pure sweetness (most of the time). She loves to help and often I find her picking up WITHOUT BEING ASKED!! She follows her big sisters lead until she has had enough. Then she quietly lets everyone around know that she is done. It is not unheard of to see her ball up her little fists and punch Natalie without a sound. She isn't talking a lot yet, but she understands everything and can communicate in her own way. Allison is still a bit of a mystery since she is so young. What I'm getting from her so far is that she is not going to be a timid flower. She is loud and demanding, which I guess she kind of has to be to compete with the two older ones.

The biggest difference that I have seen between growing up an only child and having sisters is the level of competition. Who can get the pink bowl first, who has the biggest piece of cake, who gets the coveted "good chair". At this point I hear it mostly from Natalie, but Vanessa is quickly getting in on the action. She is developing a sneaky side that will serve her well as she grows up with her pushy big sister. Everyone has to have the survival skills most suited for their lives!

The one thing that captured my curiosity the most growing up was if parents had favorites. I was always pretty certain of my status as favorite kid growing up. I always wondered if other moms and dads had a particular child that they favored above the others. The answer I have found is that yes, parents do have favorites. BUT it changes, sometimes many times within one day. Sometimes Natalie is my favorite because of her spirit and her spunk. Sometimes it is Vanessa because of her sweetness and willingness to help. Sometimes it is Allison because I could just eat her chubby little cheeks up. Sometimes my "favorite" ends up being a combination of all three girls and the way they meld together to make up our family.

I'm sorry if this post seems a little disjointed. Since I started typing I have fed three kids, changed two diapers, scolded two little girls for breaking a mini blind, comforted one kid after they either fell or was pushed, had to pry a bottle of sunscreen out of one little hand, and half of this was typed with one hand while holding a baby. Hopefully there was at least one sentence that made any sense. If not, I apologize. That is life around here lately!

Next on their list of things to break: my Christmas spirit

Last night Larry and I were lovingly tucking Natalie into bed (reality=taking away reading time and threatening that Santa wasn't coming at all if she didn't get her little butt into bed NOW) when she made a confession. She had taken another ornament off of the Christmas tree and accidentally broke it.

A little back story here. I feel that I'm a pretty sympathetic mother, and because of that I know how tempting it is to play with the Christmas decorations. I mean, come on, they are like little toys that come out once a year for the sole purpose of mocking kids whose Mom's are all, "DON'T TOUCH THAT OR I'M CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!" So since I have had kids I have made sure there are an ample amount of Christmas things that are specifically out to be played with. They have a basket full of books, stuffed animals, and real grown up decorations that cannot be broken. They also have a small tree with ornaments that are all kid friendly. They can decorate their tree or their room or themselves to their hearts content....with THEIR OWN STUFF! Every year when the boxes come up from the basement we talk about how they have their own decorations, so leave the rest alone!

This year I put up their tree and gave them their ornaments, which they promptly broke in as many ways as possible. Things that would survive a nuclear bomb have been reduced to random pieces of red and green plastic scattered throughout the house (try getting up in the middle of the night and finding Pooh's decapitated head smiling at you from inside the refrigerator door. That kind of discovery will mess you up for life). So after the girls were tired of destroying their own stuff they, of course, moved onto mine. I am up to a grand total of seven broken ornaments. And we still have a couple of weeks until Christmas! Last nights victim was an elf holding a banner that says Natalie. I was informed that one tiny green leg is somewhere in the bottom of the toy box. Let me just say, we really should buy some stock in super glue the way we've been going through it.

Natalie reluctantly handed over the little legless elf and I placed her on the "shelf of broken ornaments". It is possibly the saddest Christmas sight ever. There is a piglet without an ear, a cheerleader without pom-poms, an angel without her hands, a snowman without his snowflake (if you know what I mean..wink wink!), and now a poor little smiling elf without a limb.

Natalie was assuring us that is was an ACCIDENT! REALLY!! DIDN'T MEAN TO!! That would be well and good if it weren't for the fact that this kind of "accident" happens daily, usually right after I tell them to leave the tree alone or I'm taking it down. We had the talk again and she promised not to touch anymore ornaments. I'm guessing we will be adding to the shelf sooner rather than later.

The big girls

Things Vanessa likes:
-eating almost anything and everything
-especially Papa's homemade party mix
-dancing
-playing in her pretend kitchen
-BABY DOLLS!!!
-helping unload the dishwasher
-giving high fives
-Handy Manny
-being a "little Mama"
-taking medicine
-pop (thanks Nana)

Things Vanessa does not like:
-getting into trouble
-not being able to do everything Natalie can do
-corn
-her food being too hot
-being "trapped" in her crib
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Things Natalie likes:
-holidays
-reading books
-doing arts and crafts
-Miss Shannon (a teacher at her school)
-chicken, macaroni and cheese, cheeseburgers, bologna
-milk, chocolate or white
-her little sisters (most of the time)
-playing hairdresser
-playing dress up
-dessert
- her cousins Brayden, Ryan, and Hailey

Things Natalie does not like:
-food except the things listed above (and a few others)
-being told what to do
-being told what to wear
-when Vanessa bothers her while she is playing
-the dogs eating her food
-getting her hair washed (at home, she loves it in the salon)

The baby:

Things Allison likes:
-her Mama
-her Mama's boobs
-laying in the crib looking at the miniblinds (but only for a couple of minutes)
-laying in her boppy (but only for a couple of minutes)

Things Allison does not like:
-not being held by her Mama
-Mama sitting down in one place when holding her (there must always be some movement. ALWAYS.)
-having a dirty diaper
-having that dirty diaper changed
-her bassinet
-her swing
-not having immediate attention
-Mama trying to feed her a bottle instead of offering up the boob
-Natalie singing Christmas songs at top volume directly into her face
-Vanessa trying to "hug" her
-sleeping anywhere but in Mama's arms at night
-bath time
-being cold
-having her umbilical cord stump cleaned (it STILL has not fallen off)
-Mama not knowing exactly what she wants when she wants it (and not a second later)

kjhdfiuqwerhjk!!!!

Kids are sick. Brain is broken. Enjoy cute baby pictures!

Allison's first Thanksgiving. I don't think she was impressed.

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Warm and cozy in the blanket my Grandma made.

............................. Lucky enough to capture one of her first smiles!

Back to my original point...

I sat down to write earlier at a point in the day where I was feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted and it came spewing out of my fingers and onto my blog. But I'm better now...even though Nat is still pulling on my sleeve and not letting Allison sleep like she wants! It is all good. My girls are good. I'm good. I'm really good.

Yesterday was a big day for me and my middle child. It was her first time to go to "school". She is attending the same Children's Day Out program that Natalie did last year. I love the program, the director of the program, and pretty much every person I've met through the program. Does that mean I was ready to send my baby girl (she may not be the youngest, but she is still my baby)? Hell to the no!! I was so not ready for it, but I know it is going to be good for all of us in the long run. I need a little time each day with just Allison (and even some time for myself if she happens to be sleeping) and Vanessa needs a chance to get used to being with other people.

If you know Vanessa you know that she is completely attached to me. She is shy with other people, even a little timid. The only other people that have ever watched her besides her Daddy and I are her Nana and Papa. She is simply not used to being with anyone else. So when I was toying with the idea of sending her to CDO I was sceptical to say the least. I am lucky enough to really trust and like the woman who runs the program and when she came to me with an offer to help get Nessa in the class I knew I couldn't refuse.

She was supposed to start last Monday, but I chickened out and didn't leave her. Katie (the director) and my two wonderful cousins who work with the program told me firmly, but with much love I'm sure, that they would NOT let me leave the building without leaving her yesterday. So I dropped her off and left. I was a nervous wreck. I had big plans of coming home and doing nothing but lounging and relaxing. And I did start off that way. Allie was awake so we spent a long time talking and looking at each other and being able to have some time to really bond. She even gave me a big smile that I am fairly certain had nothing to do with her bodily functions! Then after that I was ready to go pick up my girls. The only problem was that it was about 2 1/2 hours too early! So I went Christmas shopping to occupy my mind. I got the things I had already planned to get Larry and a few extras that were kind of spur of the moment. It took everything I had to not go sit in the parking lot and wait.

I was still early to pick them up though. So I used that time to steal a baby doll from a poor little girl so my cousin could use it to teach me how to use the sling another of my favorite cousins made for me. Don't worry, we gave the doll back!!! I talked to the teachers who told me that Vanessa had a good day. She was pretty bewildered for most of the time, just trying to figure everything out. I peaked in on her and she was rocking on the gliders footstool, looking pretty content. They said she was such a helper, which is no surprise. Vanessa is a little homemaker. She loves playing in the pretend kitchen and taking care of dolls. I asked if she ate and the teacher laughed and said that she ate hers and then helped everyone else finish theirs, also not a surprise..the girl loves to eat!

After talking to the teachers and wasting as much time as I could, I stuck my head into the classroom and called out my girl's name. She looked over at me and while running to get me just burst into tears. I picked her up and she grabbed on to me sobbing. I completely understood what she was feeling. When I was little I would be too shy to show my fear or sadness in front of others, so when I got into a comfortable situation I couldn't hold back anymore. I knew that Vanessa was relieved I had come back and grateful to feel the comfort of her Mommy again.

I'm not sure how next Monday will go. I fear that it will be harder for both of us because now she knows what's coming. I am going to try to stay strong and hope for the best. I know she is going to have a great time there and this will help her get a little more independence. She is just so tiny and sweet and I want to keep her little forever!!! I wish that were possible.

It's been awhile...

I am a busy girl, but busy has taken on such a different meaning lately. When I was younger and was busy it meant I was on the go. I was away from the house, doing all kinds of things that needed done. And sometimes stuff that I just wanted to do (can I even remember those times?). Now being busy means just staying home and dealing with the life I have now. I'm not complaining. I love my life, but it is a busy one.

I have heard it said so many times that it is hard going from having one to two children, but after that it doesn't matter anymore how many you have. LIARS!!!!! I admit that it was probably harder when we added Vanessa to our family, but that was mostly my fault. I was so uptight about everything. I had finally developed a good routine for our life with Nat and I was unable to see how I could endure such a big change and still keep a semblance of the life I had come to love. I was a lot less afraid of change with the birth of Allison. I knew from experience that kids routines change no matter how much you wish they didn't, whether you add more kids to the picture or not. I also am a lot better at rolling with the changes. I can accept them, adapt to them, and eventually appreciate them. So, when we were surprised by the two lines on the pregnancy test this time I wasn't freaking out nearly as bad as I had in the past. Maybe I should have.

Three kids is a lot of kids. I am completely outnumbered in every aspect. While I have gotten pretty good at cradling Allison in one arm, balancing Vanessa on the opposite hip and dealing with Natalie hanging on to one leg or the other (or sometimes both), I am still not good at balancing the needs of all my babies. I constantly feel like someone is getting gypped. I have had to let Allison cry at times that I never would have with my older two. I have had to tell a sobbing Vanessa that she would have to wait to be picked up and snuggled until after I was done dealing with the baby. I have had to make Natalie wait to eat when she was really hungry because I couldn't go to the kitchen at that moment. I HATE those moments. Those times when I can't physically or mentally or emotionally give my kids all of me. I hate feeling that they aren't getting the best mother I could be because I am so busy with someone or something else. I feel like I am being pulled in three different directions at once, all of them as important as the others.

On the other hand there are times when we are all together that my heart almost bursts with happiness. When Allie is calm and happy, Nessa is being her sweet little self, and Nat is in full-blown big sister mode, helping and playing with her little sisters. Those times are the best ever. Those times are the ones that make me happy, and make my girls happy. It is then that I think, hey I can do this! It is just so hard to remember that when I have three screaming girls and tears in my eyes while I try my best to keep it all together.

I am sorry that I finally blog and it comes out as a pathetic, crybaby mess. It took me all morning to write this between trying to get Allison to take a nap and the older two to leave her alone so she can sleep. But now Natalie is playing quietly in my room, Vanessa is having a snack of cheerios and apple juice, and Allison is sleeping in her bassinet (for now). Wow, I wrote too soon...here is Natalie pulling on my sleeve, Vanessa is fussing for an unknown reason, and Allie is stirring and making her waking up noises. So, back to real life for me. At least real life consists of lots of hugs and kisses from the three most wonderful little girls in the history of girls. It kind of makes it all bearable, huh?

MOOOOOOOO.

Fair warning: In this post I ramble on and on and on about the topic of my boobs.



Can I just tell you what a fan I am of breast feeding? It really is just the best thing ever. It is the healthiest option for my baby. It helps in the shedding of the pounds that found me while I was pregnant and don't want to leave. There are no middle of the night bottle making sessions that have me totally forgetting how many scoops of formula I have already put in and wondering if I put too many or too few will it HARM MY BABY FOREVER?!?!?!? There is no hauling around all the equipment that goes along with bottle feeding. And best of all...there is no cost! Yep, I am all for breast feeding.



With both of my older girls I was able to nurse for about 4 or 5 months. I hope to go even longer with Allison. It is finally going well for us. I say finally even though she is only a week and half old. It's not like we struggled with it for a long time. It just seemed like forever when my milk was not coming in. At one point I talked to the doctor and he said to give it 24 more hours and if I still wasn't making enough to satisfy my baby I could supplement a couple of times a day with formula. My milk came in that day. I was beyond thrilled, I didn't want to offer her the "easy" way of eating and then expect for her to start working for it again. I was afraid she would want to take the easy way out and reject my boobs. I shouldn't have worried. I don't think this child would reject my boobs for anything at this point!



It all started off great in the hospital. I was SO hungry so I had the nurse order my food for me with every intention of nursing Allie for the first time before they delivered it. That didn't happen, so when the food came and I was just starting to feed the baby the nurse offered to set it to the side for me. I told her she could leave it and I would get it after I was done feeding. Allie latched on right away and was sucking to her hearts content, but oh my goodness I was HUNGRY! So I tucked the baby into my chest and pulled up the tray in front of me. The nurse came back into the room and just started laughing. There I was breast feeding my newborn baby for the first time and trying not to drop too much of my chicken ceaser salad on her little tiny head. But I will tell ya, I ate, Allison ate and we were all happier for it.



When we got home it was still going ok, but Allison would get so frustrated when she would be sucking and not getting full. She was on me at least every thirty minutes, sometimes more often. It felt like my milk would never come in. Then finally my boobs felt a little fuller. They started tingling when the baby would cry. And then miracle of miracles one day I had her on the left side and the right side started dripping. I was so happy you would have thought I had just won a major prize (like a bowling alley or a leg lamp...yeah, I'm already in Christmas Story mode). Since then we have had no problem with the milk supply. In fact, yesterday I was trying to get Allison to open her mouth wider and squirted her right in the face with breast milk! That never gets old or less funny...believe me! Today when I went to pick up Natalie from school I sat in the van and fed the baby while we waited. Yep, I sure do love breast feeding.



Alright, I'm done. I promise that I will try not to post about my boobs and the miraculous things they can do for a while. Try being the operative word there.

Marking her territory

On Tuesday Allison had her first doctor's appointment. It was just a quick look-over and a weight check. She of course had a poopy diaper the minute we entered the examination room. I cleaned her up and then took her up to the scale. She had to be completely naked, so I just left everything off after the diaper change. When I got up to the room where they weigh the babies there was already a little girl on the scale. She wasn't exactly cooperating and it was taking a few minutes. The nurse apologized for the wait and I said something to the effect of, "it's fine, but she will probably poop on me". The words had barely left my mouth when I began to feel warm wetness in my hand. I held her out in front of me and announced to everyone listening that she was peeing in my hand. It was a good long pee (actually kind of reassuring since I was having questions about the amount of milk she was getting at the time). I have to say, it was hilarious. The nurse was impressed that she seemed to potty on que! I cleaned up while they wiped up the floor and then we weighed her...7 pounds, 1 ounce. She looked healthy and we go in next week for another weight check. Maybe next time I won't get wet!

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I will close with some cute pics of my girls. First, here are my two oldest cuddling in bed and watching Dragon Tales.

And here is Allison doing what she does...just laying around being cute!

Gasp.

I'm just trying to catch my breath here. This is the first time I have been able to sit down at the computer and attempt to type out a post...but I already hear baby squeaks and gurgles, so we will see how much I can get done.

If anyone ever tells you that having an almost five-year-old, a nineteen-month-old, and a newborn is easy I give you full permission to slap them upside their heads. Hard. It is certainly NOT easy. I haven't had more than an hour and a half of continuous sleep since Friday. I am always feeding someone, or changing someones diaper, or comforting someone while they cry. It is a never ending assembly line of kid related issues. I'm not complaining....ok, maybe I am a little!

Now, that being said, it has also been a lot of fun. The older girls love their new sister and CONSTANTLY want to be all over her. I have to beat them away with a stick (not literally, of course). I have had to tell Natalie many more times than once that she is NOT the mommy and I am perfectly capable of taking care of Allison. That is kind of driving me nuts, but it is better than the alternative I guess. Vanessa has taken to the baby also. When Allie cries Vanessa comes over and pats her so gently on the head with so much love that my heart swells and just about bursts out of my chest. I just love my three little girls SO much, no matter how crazy they make me.

My milk is s-l-o-w-l-y getting established. Nursing hasn't been easy this time, but I'm sticking with it and it is getting better. She is finally getting enough at a time to fill up her tummy for a while. We were nursing every thirty minutes for a while and she and I were getting very frustrated at the low amount that was coming out. With the other two girls once my milk came in it was abundant. This time it is just moving a little more slowly. She is a good eater and is not shy about letting me know how hungry she is. At the doctor yesterday (remind me to tell you that story soon) she was up from 7 pounds even to 7 pounds, 1 ounce. So she is gaining a little which is better than losing!

I will get into all the other dirty details some other time. For now Natalie is at school, Vanessa is playing with a baby doll in Allison's swing, and Allison is (GASP) laying in her bassinet sleeping. I think I might just have a minute or two to eat something without standing at the counter shoveling it in as fast as I can. Thank you to all of you for your thoughts and good wishes. And to my husband and my mom....I wouldn't still be functioning without you. I have no idea how people do this without the support system I have. I am a very, very, very lucky girl. And yes I'm crying right now..how did you guess?

Allison Kaia

Birthday: 11/14

Time of birth: 3:09 pm

Weight: 7 pounds 5.6 ounces

Length: 18 1/4 inches

Welcome to the world Baby Girl!!!!!!!!!!

TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going in tomorrow at 7am to have this baby. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

I will post as soon as I can with cute wittle baby pictures and hopefully a story of an easy and relatively pain free delivery.

What's up?

So, it's my birthday. I am officially 29. Yeah.
Onto other news....good baby news!!! We will meet our baby girl by the end of the week. I had my membrane's stripped today (nice b-day present, huh?) and other than being a little crampy I am good. I was very nervous. People were telling me how awful it was going to be, but it wasn't that bad. It helped that I was already dilated quite a bit. My doctor said the membranes around the baby were pretty thin and my water might break. If so I am off to the hospital to have myself a baby! If not, then on Friday I check into the hospital at 7am to be "helped along". Either way we will have a baby by the weekend. Crazy. This pregnancy seemed to take for-ev-er, but now we are almost done. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
I can't wait to see what Allison looks like. Will she look just like me? Or just like Larry? Or a good combination of both like Natalie and Vanessa? I can't wait to hear her first scream. Or change her first little diaper. Or sing her her first lullaby. Or just hold her and kiss on her little head until she gets sick of it. Yeah, I'm pretty excited. There are things I am NOT excited about, of course. The newborn stage is very intense without a lot of sleep. But, hey, I've been through it twice before and survived. It will pass so quickly and all of a sudden I will have three little girls running around the house, talking and screaming and arguing and laughing and hugging and being my girls.
Well, I am off to get us all ready to go out to lunch and then spend the day hanging out and having fun. I will post again soon...maybe with cute little baby pictures!

My kids...in all their glory!

Natalie and I talked a lot about the election on Tuesday. She wanted to know who I was voting for and I told her Barack Obama. She thought that was great and was very supportive of my decision. Later in the day we saw one of those commercials that end with "I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message". She perked up and said, "HEY!! That's who we want!" So later on we were again talking about going to vote and I excitedly asked her who we wanted to win. Her answer...."THE JAYHAWKS!!!" Yeah, I've got her pretty good and brainwashed, huh?

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I took Natalie to vote with me and even let her push most of the touchscreen buttons. For one office she accidentally pushed the wrong button. I immediately pushed the right one and we went on. When we left the building we discussed how well she did and how proud I was of her. She said that she liked it but was upset that she pushed one wrong button.

"Who did I vote for Mom?"

"You voted for a republican."

"And you would NEVER vote for a republican, right?"

ummmmmm....."Well, we should never say never."

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Vanessa just brought me the bottle of red wine vinegar and her sippy cup. She was NOT happy with me when I wouldn't just give her a fill-up.

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Natalie was playing outside today and found a dead worm. I told her that it certainly didn't belong inside. She declared that it was too cold outside for it. I told her to bury it under some leaves and that would protect it and keep it warm.

"But it's my pet."

"Ok, but it's dead."

"It is my gentle, dead pet."

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What a Night!

As I sat on my couch last night and watched the map on tv turn red and blue I felt proud. I was proud of my country that finally seems to "get it". The numbers of voters were outstanding. People didn't just sit back complacently, they got involved. The young, the old, and so many in between. It was just a really nice feeling of unity and patriotism, no matter which candidate we were all for.
Of course I am thrilled with the outcome! I really, truly feel that the right man was elected at the right time. There are not many people who can (or would) argue that this country hasn't been on a downward spiral for quite some time now. We are in desperate need of some REAL change. Let's hope that the congress and the new president can all come together and make some of that change happen.
Let me make it clear that contrary to what you may think, I do not hate John McCain (it is a completely different story with Sarah Palin). I think he is a smart, savvy, courageous politician. I just don't agree with him on his policies and views. I thought his concession speech was really great. It felt real and made even this liberal democrat feel a pang of sorrow for him. But not too much. I was way too over the moon happy about Obama winning to feel to bad for the republicans last night.
So that is that. The election is over. I still live in a very red state (Buchanan and Tiahrt both won...again), but I live in a country that has come so far. I live in a country that elected it's first African American to lead our country when not so long ago he wouldn't have even been allowed to vote. I can only think that this is opening the door for so many great people to run for our highest office that wouldn't have been considered last election. No matter the race, no matter the gender, no matter the economic status or sexual orientation or any other distinguishing characteristic...the dream is alive. All of our kids can have realistic dreams about becoming president when they grow up. We really have come so far! Go Obama!!

Baby News

I think I am broken.
For some reason my cervix just won't cooperate. I dilate just fine (I am currently at a three). This baby girl is so low it still surprises the nurse and doctor every week when they find her way down there. Everything is a go...except that my cervix just stays very long. Same thing happened with my first two kids and I was eventually induced with both of them. I was hoping to go naturally this time. That is not looking very realistic at this time. So the plan has changed a little bit. Next Tuesday (my birthday) I will have my membranes stripped to see if that gets anything going. If not we hope that it will at least make the induction we are scheduling for FRIDAY THE 14TH easier. With Vanessa I had to go through two rounds of cervadil before my body finally decided to let her out. Hopefully this time I will skip that part and go right to the pitocin. But I am firm in my determination to go with the flow and be content with however it happens.
So it looks like this will be our last babyless weekend. We don't have any big plans as of right now. Just waiting to meet little Allison. I am so not ready in so many ways. I need to get her clothes all sorted and put in drawers. I need to figure out exactly where we are going to be putting the bassinet. I still have to pack the rest of my hospital bag. Yeah, I have a lot to do. But I did get the infant car seat back out of the closet in the basement and with my mom's help it is all cleaned up. I have a stock of newborn and size one diapers sitting and waiting to collect all those tiny baby poops and pees. I bought a baby book for her and have every intention of beginning to fill it out...sometime. I'm sure it will all come together. I am so much less stressed about being "ready" then I was with either Natalie or Vanessa. It's not like we can't bring her home until all the cloth diapers are bleached and folded. Everything will be fine, even if we still are getting ready after she is already here.
I will end with this message: GO VOTE!!!! If you vote you are helping to make the decision. If you don't you are putting it solely in the hands of others. I am going this afternoon to cast my vote for Barack Obama!!

Halloween Cuteness

The Little Witch

The Little Pumpkin

The Trunk or Treat party at the church

The Carving of the Pumpkin!

Autumnfest at the Preschool

Halloween Night