File this under: Things They Should Tell You

One of the most anxiety ridden moments of my life was way back on December 31, 2003 when the nurse came into my hospital room and told me that I could take my new baby home soon. There I was, blissfully relaxing on the queen size bed, ordering in room service, watching movies on the DVD player, and anytime I had any question about this new little tiny person that was suddenly attached to me at the boob all I had to do was push a button and a nurse would come make it all better. Is she latched on correctly? Call the nurse! Should she be making those noises when she sleeps? Call the nurse! Seriously, is she latched on correctly because this hurts like hell? Call the nurse! I had everything I needed and now they wanted to send me home? Without a little button to call someone who actually knows what they are doing? I was nervous to say the least.

No less then three hours of waiting and panicking later the nurse made one final appearance to go over the list of "taking care of your baby" guidelines. The list included all kinds of good advice. To avoid shaken baby syndrome don't shake the baby. Put the baby to bed on her back even if every time you do she screams bloody murder. Dress the baby appropriately, not too warm, not too chilly. Now here is a prescription for percoset, enjoy!

I paid very close attention not wanting to miss anything that would come in handy later when I was alone with my new daughter. I already had books that told me all this at home, and of course I had the Internet that was always there to scare me with the WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO for anything I looked up (search: oozing belly button. find: 99 ways your baby could by dying this very minute). I had my Mom that had been through all of this before. Still, I don't think anyone can be completely prepared for bringing home your own baby for the first time.

The biggest surprise to me was my new found obsession with my babies poop. I kept pages upon pages of data on each and every diaper and what it contained. I called my mom, the pediatrician, and random friends and family (sorry!) to report on changes in frequency, consistency, amount, and appearance. I needed constant reassurance that it was normal. To me normal poop equalled normal, healthy baby. It made me absolutely crazy with worry when she wouldn't poop when I thought she should. I would continuously check her diaper to make sure there wasn't something there that wasn't two minutes ago when I checked last. I would research infant constipation and push on her little tummy to see if it hurt. I basically annoyed my child and everyone around me with my poop fixation.

You would have thought that now, two more children later, I wouldn't be so caught up on pooping. You would be wrong. I am constantly worrying about all three of my girls bathroom habits. Are they going enough? Are they going too much? Is is really supposed to smell or look like that? And when did she have corn?!?! I have talked to other mothers that are equally fascinated by their children's deposits so I know I'm not the only one. If I were a nurse during the check out process for new mothers this is something I would definitely add to the list. You will become obsessed with poo...and it is completely normal.