Sunrise, Sunset

"Sunrise, Sunset. Sunrise, Sunset. Swiftly flow the days. Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers, blossoming even as we gaze."

-from Fiddler on the Roof-

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My baby started Pre-K today. I know, I know....no big deal, right? Kids go off to preschool everyday. But I can't help it. I still feel like crying. She looked so old walking into her classroom in her new outfit and her new tennis shoes, carrying her big Tinkerbell backpack. It took all I had to stand back and let her start this new chapter in her life. She put away her bag, stood in line, washed and dried her hands, and found her name tag....ALL WITHOUT ME!!! I just kind of stood to the side and watched her be a big girl. When she came over to me and gave me "the biggest squeeze she has" I knew that when we let go I would leave and she would be a part of a class. She is a sweet, friendly girl that will make friends and learn new things and realize that the world has so much to offer outside of her mama's embrace. Of course, this is what I want for her. I have been raising her knowing that everything I was teaching her was to get her ready to live in a world that didn't include me at every turn. And now she is using those lessons and learning new ones that I couldn't even begin to teach her here at home.

I am not the only one that is a little sad today. When we got back into the van after saying goodbye, Vanessa just kept looking back at Natalie's empty car seat. And now that we are home she has just kind of been following me around. Before long, I know that we will get into our own little routines and probably enjoy this time in the mornings just for us, but right now it seems so quiet. It has been about a month since Natalie finished her children's day out program. That was one day a week for the morning and for some reason it didn't seem so real to me. It was like a play date instead of the beginning of her schooling career. Does that make sense? It does to me. So, anyway, I am going to go and wait until the time comes that we go to pick up our big girl and find out how school was and what they did. I'm sure they are having a blast! As sure as I am that later today the big girl who didn't need me earlier will curl into my lap, wrap my arms around her, and be that little baby who just needs a little mommy comfort. And you can be sure I will give it to her (and LOVE it).