The bedroom issue

While the title may sound like this is going to be some juicy, intimate post...it is not. It is about my girls and our first big issue with having two children instead of just one.



When we found this house in March of 2003 we were not really planning ahead in any way. Larry's parents had been so great and gracious and let us live in their basement for almost a year after we got married. While I appreciated it so much, I didn't necessarily like it. I had been living on my own for four years, I had just graduated college, and we were newlyweds. We wanted our own house and our own independence. We had looked at quite a few houses and for various reasons none of them worked out. When we looked at this house I immediately liked it. It has a great big backyard, beautiful woodwork throughout, and it would be "our" house. What I wasn't thinking was, "I bet I get pregnant immediately and then in 3 and a half years we will have another one, and what if we want more after that????" Those things never crossed my mind.



But we did get pregnant as soon as we got the house, and we did have another three and a half years later, and I am thinking what if we want more. This house is two bedrooms. Two small bedrooms. It definitely wasn't a problem when it was just Larry and I for those 9 months. And it really wasn't a problem when it was just Natalie, although her toys and stuff filled the room very quickly! But now there are four of us living here. And I am having trouble finding room for everything. The girls "share" a room, but they can't both sleep in it. First Vanessa would wake up Natalie and then Natalie would wake up Vanessa. And that means we would all be up a lot more then we should be. It is hard in the middle of the night to deal with both of them. So Natalie now sleeps on her mattress on our floor. It is in front of the closet so we have lost the use of it for the most part. It also has taken "our" room and made it more her room. I don't even get to lay in bed and read before I go to sleep because it would wake Nat up.



But the real problems happen in the daytime. Most of the toys are still in the girls bedroom, which means when Vanessa goes down for a nap Natalie can't play. I try to get her to pick out toys to bring to the living room before she goes to sleep, but she always wants something else. And that something else is always the thing that would be loudest to get. So either I tell Natalie she can't play with what she wants or take my chances and go get the toy. Vanessa usually wakes up then. Or like today, Vanessa fell asleep kind of unexpectedly and Natalie was already playing in her room. I put Ness on our bed and checked on her every two seconds because I was sure she was going to roll off and break her neck. Needless to say, the nap only lasted fifteen minutes at best.



I just feel like both of the girls are getting cheated. Yesterday Natalie and I were talking about what she wanted for Christmas. She said a bedroom. I said "you have a bedroom". But then I got to thinking...she had been told at least twenty times to stay out of that room so Vanessa could rest after her shots yesterday. Can it really be your bedroom if you don't sleep in it and are very rarely even allowed to be in it? So, is my room even my room any more? Get the idea?



This is the life we chose. I understand and accept that. I don't work so I can stay at home and raise our girls the way we want them raised. This is more than anything the most important fact of our lives. So our finances are not vast to say the least. We can't just run out and pick up another, bigger house. And I really do love and appreciate this house. This situation is just stressing me out right now. I want both girls to have their own space. And I do hate that we don't even have the option of having more kids because we would have absolutely NOWHERE to put them (and no, we don't really think we want more, but the option would be nice!). But can I really complain. We have a roof over our heads and walls around our bodies. We have warmth and protection. There are so many that don't that I feel selfish for complaining. But I guess that won't stop me, huh?