Reclaiming my kid

***Update: Was sent to the hospital yesterday afternoon. Was told I have another UTI and was pretty dehydrated. Was given an IV (ouch!) and a few prescriptions. Am now feeling a lot better. Thank you all for your concern!***

When Natalie was born I made a conscious decision to be extremely diligent when it came to choosing the television she was allowed to watch. I always watched with her and usually chose shows like Sesame Street or Dragon Tales (gotta love some good 'ole PBS). As she got older she was allowed to watch a more diverse array of TV, but I was still on top of the shows that were allowed. Then Vanessa was born. I am embarrassed and sad to admit that my attention to the shows she watched became less and less. All of a sudden she was watching things like Sponge Bob and Fairly Odd Parents, both very funny, but SO not appropriate for my four-year-old daughter. As long as she was content and busy and I was able to care for the baby (or, on occasion, myself) I was ok.
As time went on she became more and more disrespectful. She began to use the word "hate" in every other sentence. She began to call names. She simulated violence. It got seriously out of control. And for the longest time I was all..."duuuhhh. Why is she so mean all of a sudden?" Well, just call me stupid (she certainly has). When I actually sat down and watched these "kid" shows I was appalled. There was Sponge Bob and Mr. Krabs trying to hide a dead body!!! There was Timmy Turner wishing actual harm on other characters. And some of the other shows that just happened to come on after an episode of her show were even worse! There was no educational value to these shows. There wasn't any lessons to be learned from the bad behavior of the characters. It was just awful. And not only was Natalie watching and reenacting these events, but Vanessa was beginning to take interest too.
I couldn't let my impressionable little girls be raised to think these things were alright. I was always so adamant that Larry not play any violent video games until after the kids bedtime. I would watch the soap opera that I used to watch with closed captioning and no sound and then turn the channel when things got the least bit inappropriate. We would tape shows that we liked and watch them late so the kids wouldn't be exposed to things we didn't want them to be. And all along I was encouraging her to watch things that were just as bad and actually aimed at kids!!! I can barely type these words due to my severe mortification. How did I become so blind to what TV was doing to my kid?
Now you can stick a fork in me, because I am done! I am not clueless and I realize I can't protect my children from bad things forever, but I CAN and WILL make sure I am not the one exposing them to these kinds of things. I thought it would be a fight to get Natalie off her addiction to Sponge Bob. My kid is just like any other when it comes to hearing the word NO and then wanting whatever it is even more. So I never said I was taking Sponge Bob or any other show away. I discussed it with Larry and together we are just not turning that on. I mean, we are the adults, we do have control over the remote! And really it hasn't been that bad. She has asked if it was on a few times but, even if it was, we have said no. I don't feel like this is lying to her, but if it is, I am ok with that. As a result she has rediscovered some of her favorite shows. A big hit right now is Maggie and the Ferocious Beast. We have a few videos and I let her watch an episode or two and she is happy with it. She asks for Noggin or Sprout or PBS Kids (doink...you get that if you watch it!). She also watches less TV since I have become the remote Nazi. The girls play dolls together or store (although Vanessa isn't good at that one yet and Natalie always gets frustrated that she won't buy her stuff like she is supposed to). She plays a game on her V.Smile or runs around the backyard. She reads books and makes up silly songs. And she is happy.
We are still working on undoing the harm that my inattention to TV did to her. We are desperately trying new techniques to get her to stop calling names and showing her anger in more constructive ways then just telling us she hates us and wants new parents. Last night we sat down and read three books all about how some of her favorite literary characters handle their anger and then discussed them. It is a slow process but I am confident we will overcome it. She is a sweet little girl with a big heart and more often than not shows us all her good side. I am not expecting her to become an angel, she is my daughter after all. I just want to know that I am doing all I can to turn her into a the nice, caring individual I know she will be.

Quick Update

First of all, I'm not in the hospital. I kept my meager dinner down last night, but have resumed throwing up again today. I haven't felt a "contraction" since last night, but I do have quite a bit of abdominal pain. This just sucks. All I want is an uncomplicated rest of my pregnancy. I want a healthy baby. I want to be able to be there for my two girls that need me. I know it could be worse. And thank God it's not. Knock on wood.

Short but not so sweet

I don't feel good....again. I haven't been able to keep ANYTHING down for the whole day so I have become dehydrated. Because of that I have been having some mild contractions. If I don't start keeping some fluids down or the contractions become stronger or more regular I am off to the hospital tonight. Let's all hope that what I just ate and drank stays where it is! I really don't want an IV or, even worse, anything that turns into pre-term labor. This baby needs to bake in mommy's oven for a couple more months!

ps. I have the BEST Mom in the world. After work, even though all she wanted to do was go home, she brought me some food and then stayed to make sure I ate at least some of it. She also watched the girls while I took a shower! I love her SO much and have NO idea what I would do without her!

yyyyaaaawwwwnnnnnn

You know how early in a pregnancy you go through a very tired, run down sort of phase? That time where you just don't have one ounce of energy even though you slept all night. And then you transition into a phase that is more about eating anything and everything you see and you are no longer as exhausted as you were. Yeah, I've been through both of those. Now I just WANT TO SLEEP!! ALL THE TIME!! I am utterly exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open. I laid down on Natalie's bed for five minutes and could barely bring myself to get back up. With the first pregnancy it wasn't that bad. I could always just go lay down for a while. With the second it got a little harder. Still, it was just me and Natalie and when she would lay down to rest or watch a movie, so could I. Now there are two little monsters running around the house, and believe me, they NEVER rest at the same time. It's like some kind of sisterly rule, "thou shall never be still at the same time". All I want to do right now is go lay in my bed right in front of a fan on high, curl up under the comforter, snuggle with my many pillows and sleep until I can't sleep any more (or, more likely, until I have to pee again). Even as I type my eyes keep wanting to close. It is taking all my will power to keep them open. So, if this post doesn't make any sense just blame it on my half-awake state. Yaaawwwnnn!!!

Where have I been?!?!

Sorry I have been MIA for so long. I hope I haven't lost any readers. I still check everyone else's blogs, I just haven't been able to write lately. I wish I could say I have been non-stop busy, but that is not truly the case. I HAVE been relatively busy with Natalie going to school and all doctor's appointments that we all have been going to lately. But really, I have just felt like crap for a couple of weeks. This pregnancy is slowly killing me. I am in a constant pain that we have realized we can not do anything about. I am STILL puking most days (I actually think I have been sick for the last few days but I seriously can't tell for sure). Both girls have been sick with yucky, snotty colds for a few days. So, yeah....woe is me, I guess.

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On to other things. I have so many pics to post. I have pictures from our Labor Day at the farm, pictures from our visit to the state fair, and pictures of our special pancake breakfast in the bedroom last weekend. So, without further ado....

Labor Day on the Farm

Here are two of my in-laws new mini-horses...or as Natalie says, "horses that are just my size!"

Natalie and her cousin Ryan walking through the pasture.

Big girl riding a big horse!

My cute nephew Brayden

Yummy BBQ dinner!

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The State Fair

Nana and her girls watching pig races

My beautiful girls.

"Driving" the combine

What a pretty girl!

Nat again

Blowing mommy a kiss from the merry-go-round

wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Weekend Pancake Breakfast

It is not often the girls get to eat breakfast in their bedroom. I made pancakes, set up their little table, and let 'em eat!

Pieces of Life

I haven't posted in a while. No real reason. Just a writing slump I guess. But I have been thinking of posts the whole time, so to get me a little bit caught up.....

Natalie's Pre-K class has been studying the five senses this week and last. They have covered hearing, seeing, touching, and tasting. When Nat came home after the tasting day she was SO excited to tell me what had happened in their class. They had a Gingerbread Man theme that day. They read a story, made a picture, and then made and decorated their own gingerbread man cookies. When they went down to get the baked cookies out of the oven they weren't there! Natalie told me all about the "gingerbread clues" that the class found throughout the school. And then when they got back to their classroom, there were the cookies waiting for them at their seats. "It was the Gingerbread Man Mom!! It could have been pretend, but I think it was REAL!!!" I agreed that it probably was real, of course. I think I am going to really like Natalie's teacher!

Vanessa had her 15-month appointment yesterday (yes, she is actually 16-months old, mama is running a little behind). The big news is that she is NOT GROWING!! She hasn't gained a pound since her 12-month appointment. She is still going strong at 18 pounds! She isn't even on that graph that tells you what percentage they are in weight or height. That means she is in the less than fifth percentile. The doc says we aren't going to worry....yet. It could just be her genetics (although I'm not sure who gave her such tiny genes). We are going to go back in two months and see if there is any progress. I asked what else it could be making her so small and he said that anything it could be would be so uncommon that we aren't even going to go there now. It's not like she was "normal" size up until now and then all of a sudden got small. She has always been a little girl. Natalie actually weighed an ounce less at birth, but chubbed up pretty quickly! Nessa just never got the chub. But other than her teeny tiny frame, she is healthy and on target developmentally!

The pregnancy is going pretty well for the most part. I am still in A LOT of pain most of the time, but we have kind of decided it is round ligament pain and I will just have to live with it for the next ten (or so) weeks. Fun fun. Sometimes I hurt so much I just lay on the floor. And of course if I am laying on the floor, I have two little girls who want to climb all over me! I go back to the doctor next Tuesday and then I start going every two weeks. We are getting down to the wire here with my LAST pregnancy. You can totally see little elbows and knees jutting out of my belly every so often. And she rolls and stretches, but she is running out of room!

Our dog Axel had his surgery and they removed the tumor. He is doing well, but won't leave his stitches alone. I keep telling him that if he rips them out he has to go back to the doctor, but he just won't listen. It is just like talking to my kids!

I still need to post all the fun pictures from our labor day BBQ at my in-laws farm, but for now I am going to go fix some lunch for us girls. We are all growing and need some good food!!! So bologna and cheese sandwiches, chips, carrot sticks, and watermelon here we come!

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?

I have traveled to, and fallen in love with, many places. My parents always put a special emphasis on showing me the beauty and wonder that exists in so many different parts of this country. We have gone to Yellowstone and the Black Hills. We have done long driving tours of canyon country and the whole of Texas. We have gone North, South, East, and West. But never have I experienced the feelings that swept over me when I spent a week in New Orleans in 2002. Ok, so it was my honeymoon, which probably would have been pretty magical no matter where we went. But there was just something about that old, beautiful, mystical city that completely took my heart. And part of it is still there.


There wasn't really a lot of discussion when it came to our honeymoon destination. We aren't the kind of people who just wanted to lay on the beach. We are more the kind that want to explore history and architecture and the different landscape that comes with different places. So we chose to go to NOLA. And I couldn't be happier that we did. We had so much fun and did so many things. It was the perfect honeymoon for us. It wasn't necessarily relaxing like so many honeymoons are planned to be, but it was nonstop great.


Some of my favorite moments from the trip came from unexpected experiences. One day I decided that we should try to drive as far south as we could to see what was there. So we got into our rented Hyundai and took off down the highway. Of course we got lost almost immediately in a pretty rough part of New Orleans. We had to stop at this little gas station to get a map and then we were off again. We were minding our business, just driving southward when all of a sudden there was a police car, lights a flashin', behind us. We pulled into a parking lot and heard a loud speaker saying, "driver step out of your car." We were freaked out! Why would we have to get out of the car? Who did this policeman think we were? It turns out we were stopped because Larry wasn't wearing his seat belt. I guess it is pretty common to make the driver get out in a normal traffic stop there. After it was all over we found it hilarious, and still laugh about it today. So finally we were on our way south. We drove down the highway on the banks of the Mississippi. It was beautiful country. There weren't but a few other cars on the road, just us and lots of birds (and I'm sure alligators). Larry had to stop and pee (I'm sure he will love me telling that) and I have the best picture of him looking back at me with the Mighty Mississippi in the background. It is actually one of my favorite pictures from the vacation! Turns out there is not much to see at the end of the highway. There is a lot of marshy land and a small convenience store where we picked up supplies. But it was still wonderful. On the way back we decided to cross over the river in Plaquemines Parish, at the ferry in Pointe a la Hache. It was a tiny ferry that took us over the river into the depths of Louisiana. The things we saw, the people and the houses and the land, were so different than anything I had ever seen. It was so wonderful. So many people go to cities and only experience the "city". We wanted to know the area in a more personal way. And this trip did that for us. Even though it was very spontaneous and wasn't a typical tourist thing to do, it was amazing. I can't stress how much I loved it!


We toured plantations, went on swamp tours (on a boat and then also walking...by ourselves...with real, live alligators swimming inches from us as we walked the wooden boardwalk through the trees...did I mention by ourselves?). We hit Bourbon Street a couple times, drove to Biloxi, and went to the aquarium. And we went on the most amazing, wonderful, romantic, fun steamboat dinner cruise (thanks to my WONDERFUL Uncle Terry and Aunt Barb giving us the most wonderful, thoughtful wedding present ever) where we ate some dinner, drank some adult beverages, listened to some great music, and met Kyle Turley, then of the New Orleans Saints football team. We did so much in that week.


I won't go into how devastated I was three years ago as I watched Hurricane Katrina try to destroy "my" city. I won't go into the tears I shed or the excessive searching I did on the Internet, trying to find out if the people and places we fell in love with where still there. I am sitting here watching the news channels tell me Hurricane Gustav could be even worse than that. I am sitting here wondering if that city that captured my heart will ever have the chance to capture my daughters' hearts as well. I am sitting here being very sad. I realize that the placement of this fine city is horrible when it comes to being hit by huge storms. With the gulf on one side and Lake Pontchartrain on the other this big bowl of a city can fill up like a...well, a bowl. I just hope this storm stays away from NOLA. I pray that the new levees aren't even tested. But more than anything I am hoping that the devastation and the shitty way it was handled three years ago have taught our government AND citizens how to respond when "the big one" is headed our way. So far, it looks like we all have learned our lesson and hopefully the loss of life will be as minimal as possible. And hopefully in a few years when my girls are old enough to appreciate the city, we will travel back to New Orleans and it will still have that same feel to it that made me fall in love.

History in the making!!

Come November Americans WILL make history. We will vote either an African American man or a woman into office. How cool is that?!?!?
McCain just announced that his running mate is Alaska governor Sarah Palin. I was pleasantly surprised. I kind of thought he would go "safe" with his ticket. I am glad that he went against the grain and picked an unknown, young woman to make his run to office.
Although most of you probably know I am a democrat and was (and still am) a Clinton supporter who likes Obama very much and will most definitely vote for him, I find some solace that if the Democratic ticket looses come November we will have the first ever woman in office.
Times they are a changin'. And I for one am a happy American to be a part of it all. I urge you ALL to vote (even if you disagree with me!) and make your own mark in this historic election. Believe me, the generations to come will look upon this election as a turning point in our countries history. And we will be able to say, "I was part of that!"

"It's Real Life" - How I Roll

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One of the blogs that I check, and enjoy, daily has a challenge of sorts every Thursday. It is called "It's Real Life" and the objective is to take pictures of that weeks theme without preparing for the pics. That means no cleaning or arranging. This theme this week is "How I Roll", which, of course means I had to take some pictures of my Mama Van. It took everything I had to NOT pick up the various trash and toys that litter the floor of my big red minivan. But I didn't, I just took the pics and will now post them with some embarrassment. Be kind.

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I will start in the front. Notice the bead necklaces hanging from the rear-view mirror. Nat made those in Children's Day Out for me. I think they really add that finishing touch that leaves no room for questions....I am a Minivan Mom. The big blue sign of Natalie's name on the seat is to put in the window when I pick her up from Pre-K. The cardboard drink holder on the floor is from Wendy's.

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Now for the middle row. I have found that as a rule I must always have a couple of dolls on hand wherever we go. That is just how it is when you have two little girls. That is Nat's Tinkerbell backpack. I find it easier if I just leave it in the van so we don't ever forget it. I empty it when she gets in from school, take in various notes and projects, and leave the bag.
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Here, in the back row, under Natalie's seat are her school shoes and socks which came off before we even got out of the school parking lot. My kids are much happier with bare feet. They get that from me.
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The necessities...extra napkins and a few packages of club crackers. Oh, and the car insurance and registration stuff.
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The back window. I have been asking Larry to put this on my car since Christmas (yes, I could have done it myself I am sure, but it was the principle of the thing). I am glad he didn't put it on my old car because now it is on my van and the reds match so well, don't you think?!? I also have a chrome Jayhawk to put on the back and I am going to get a front license plate that says KU Alumni also. It will be all Jayhawked out!

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So there you have it. It is not as bad as it could be (or has been), but I would still like to keep it a bit cleaner. I can't wait to see everyone elses rides!

My poor doggy

We thought we were just taking Axel in today to get his nails cut and a little bump on his leg looked at. Well, turns out that bump is a tumor and it needs to be removed SOON. They said if it gets any bigger they might not have enough skin to close it back up. So he goes in next Tuesday. The vet said it might be cancerous, but we really can't afford to have it tested or anything, so I guess we just won't know. That worries me because it also means we won't know if we should be looking for more. I know I complain about my dogs a lot and there have been times I might have said I wish we didn't have them....but I do love them and care about them very much. I don't want anything to be seriously wrong with either one of them. So, we will do what we need to do to the best of our ability to make him all better. Let's hope his surgery goes well and it takes care of everything!

What I did on my first day of Pre-K

by Natalie, age 4 1/2

*Nothing.

*Well, we did line up to go outside.

*And they passed the juice around and I got to pour my own. Teacher said not to pour too much because it would leak and mine leaked but only on my napkin.

*We sang a song where we put our arms up in the air like this...

*And we read a story with a blue cat and a purple horse.

*And I asked the teacher if I could paint and she said yes and I wore an apron and painted a beautiful picture like in a museum, but I didn't bring it home.

*A girl wanted to swing outside but there were too many people but then she did swing and I wanted to push her so I did and the teacher kept saying, "get away from the swings".

*I don't remember what we had for snack. Maybe teddy grahams, but they were bunnies. But I don't remember.

*And I played with play-dough. That was my favorite...and painting was my favorite too.

"Did you have fun?"

Yeah, it was a little fun.

"Are you excited to go back?"

Do I get to go back right now?!?!?

Sunrise, Sunset

"Sunrise, Sunset. Sunrise, Sunset. Swiftly flow the days. Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers, blossoming even as we gaze."

-from Fiddler on the Roof-

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My baby started Pre-K today. I know, I know....no big deal, right? Kids go off to preschool everyday. But I can't help it. I still feel like crying. She looked so old walking into her classroom in her new outfit and her new tennis shoes, carrying her big Tinkerbell backpack. It took all I had to stand back and let her start this new chapter in her life. She put away her bag, stood in line, washed and dried her hands, and found her name tag....ALL WITHOUT ME!!! I just kind of stood to the side and watched her be a big girl. When she came over to me and gave me "the biggest squeeze she has" I knew that when we let go I would leave and she would be a part of a class. She is a sweet, friendly girl that will make friends and learn new things and realize that the world has so much to offer outside of her mama's embrace. Of course, this is what I want for her. I have been raising her knowing that everything I was teaching her was to get her ready to live in a world that didn't include me at every turn. And now she is using those lessons and learning new ones that I couldn't even begin to teach her here at home.

I am not the only one that is a little sad today. When we got back into the van after saying goodbye, Vanessa just kept looking back at Natalie's empty car seat. And now that we are home she has just kind of been following me around. Before long, I know that we will get into our own little routines and probably enjoy this time in the mornings just for us, but right now it seems so quiet. It has been about a month since Natalie finished her children's day out program. That was one day a week for the morning and for some reason it didn't seem so real to me. It was like a play date instead of the beginning of her schooling career. Does that make sense? It does to me. So, anyway, I am going to go and wait until the time comes that we go to pick up our big girl and find out how school was and what they did. I'm sure they are having a blast! As sure as I am that later today the big girl who didn't need me earlier will curl into my lap, wrap my arms around her, and be that little baby who just needs a little mommy comfort. And you can be sure I will give it to her (and LOVE it).

The Paper and the Nose

***A real-life fairytale***

Once upon a time there was a very silly girl who liked to do very silly things. One night, right before bed, she decided to try to put some paper up her nose. She found out very quickly that putting the paper up her nose was easy, it was retrieving the paper that proved to be more difficult.
She went to her Mother. "Mama, I put paper up my nose and now I can't get it out."
"Why would you put paper up your nose?" her Mother said.
Together they went to the little girl's Father. Her Mother thought they should go to the emergency room so they didn't make the problem worse trying to fix it themselves. But the Father was brave and crafty and knew that he could save the day. So armed with nothing but a flashlight and a pair of tweezers he went to work.
The Mother again asked, "Why would you put paper up your nose?"
After three valiant efforts, the Father finally pulled a small wad of paper out of the silly little girl's left nostril. Everyone was relieved and happy that a trip to the hospital would not be necessary. The Mother and the Father told the little girl that she was NEVER, EVER to put anything up her nose ever again. Ever. The little girl promised that she would not and her Mother took her back to bed. As the little girl climbed into bed her Mother asked again, "Why in the world would you put paper up your nose?"
The little girl contemplated the question for a second and said, "Well, I found it on the floor."
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The moral of this real-life fairytale is this: If you find a piece of paper on the floor remember that there are many things to do with the paper. But for goodness sakes, please resist the urge to put it up your nose!

Still alive and kickin'

I don't have long...just wanted to let you all know I'm still here! I have a ton to post, but just can't find the time to do it in. I have been sick for a few days (I think. It is really sad when you throw up seven times in two days and really don't know if it is sick or pregnancy). And Nat starts Pre-K on Monday so this week has been packed with things to get ready for that. Sleeping is going better. They are both laying down in THEIR OWN beds and going to sleep at night!!!!! I really want to expand on that and all the school stuff that has been going on. Hopefully I will get a chance soon. Maybe tonight if bedtime goes well again. We'll just have to see. I am not going to count any chickens before they hatch! Now, off to work!

On a positive note

It is Friday (THANK GOD) and I am really, really trying to think more positively today. That means no boo-hoo post about how bad bedtime and nighttime went (although I could crank another one out today). Today it is just the good things!

*We figured out that Vanessa's crib mattress could be lowered another two whole notches, which hopefully means no more daredevil climbing antics from our tiny little gymnast.

*When Natalie woke up this morning Vanessa and I went in to greet her and we all climbed under the blankets and cuddled and laughed.

*Little BabyGirlThree is movin' and kickin' in there. The flutters of last month have turned into full fledged beat downs inside my uterus. I woke up early this morning because I do believe she was recreating Shawn Johnson's floor routine in there. This is my favorite thing about pregnancy. I just feel so connected with the baby, just her and I know what's going on in there!

*My wonderful (and brave) Mom is taking the girls to spend the night tonight. While I will worry the entire time about how they are treating her and how bedtime will go, I will TRY to relax and enjoy a night with just my hubby and I. I'm not sure if we are doing anything special or just hanging out here at home. I don't even care at this point. I just think we need some "us" time.

*Still loving the Olympics! It makes the nights when Vanessa stays up till forever a lot more bearable. At least there is something good to watch! I loved gymnastics last night...way to go USA!

*My Mom just called and her doctor's appointment went GREAT!! There was a tiny bit of concern, but it all came out fine and she is in good health!

So there you have it. My own little ray of sunshine all over your computer screen. And you know, it made me feel a little better. It is hard to be unhappy when you think of all the good things going on in your life. It all could be so much worse! Thanks for hanging in there with me. I have no doubt next week is going to be a better one. Thank you all for your advice and kind words. You have no idea what it means to me to have such great friends and family. I am one lucky girl....I just need to remember that when I don't feel all that lucky.
Now, off to the doctor's to take my glucose test!

You know you wish you were married to me...

I have a wonderful husband. Here is our "conversation" after Vanessa finally passed out in my arms around 11:30 last night.

Me: (voice starting to shake a little) I just don't know what I'm doing....
Me: (voice now gives way to sobs) WRRRROOOONNNGGGGG!!!!!!! *sob, sob, gasp, sob, choke, sob*
Larry: (opens mouth to try to answer)
Me: Why can't I *sob, sob* get her to go to sleep? *sob, gasp*
Larry: (still trying to answer)
Me: She was tired! *sob, gasp, cough*
Larry: (nods)
Me: What are we going to do? *sob*
Me: What are we going to doooooo? *sob, gasp, sob, cough, sob*
Larry: (at this point he might have actually gotten to say something, but I didn't hear it because I had my face buried in a pillow)
Me: I'm going to bed.

So, yeah, bedtime didn't go great again. I was a lot more relaxed through the whole process though, and only really broke down after Vanessa was asleep. I just don't know what to do. She goes to sleep completely, but as soon as her back hits the mattress she wakes up screaming. We even tried letting her cry it out. I am not totally against this tactic...we used a form of it for Natalie when she was little. But I can't let them cry for long. I just can't. So I went to check on Vanessa after maybe ten minutes last night and she was sitting on the railing of her crib. Up till this point she hasn't tried to climb out. I am so lucky I went in when I did because it looked like she was going to jump forward, but luckily she looked over at me and fell backwards into the crib. She began howling!!! And that was the end of that. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened had she gone forward. We are going to check tonight when Larry gets home to see if the mattress can be lowered anymore.
I'm not going to worry about it tonight. I am going to put Natalie down at her bedtime and then just let Vanessa go until she can't go anymore. My Mom is supposed to be watching the girls Friday night, but I don't want her to have to stay up all night because Vanessa won't sleep. She says it's ok, and that it is only one night and she can handle it. I just feel bad. But a break sure would be super!
Enough of my boo-hooing for today. I wish I could write something happy and cheery and upbeat, but I'm just not in the mood. Maybe later...or tomorrow...or when the girls are all 18 and are moved out.

As the panic sets in

Maybe it's just because we had a horrible day yesterday. Maybe it's because November just keeps getting closer and closer. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it is everything all rolled up into one big ball of scary.

I am starting to get VERY worried about how I'm going to handle having three kids. Three...as in more than two, which is how many parents there are in the house. This means that we will be outnumbered. Holy crap. What the hell am I going to do?
It all kind of hit me yesterday, otherwise known as the "Day All Hell Broke Loose". From the start it was a bad day. I was in a crappy mood, left over from my Monday blahs I guess. Whatever it was, I was impatient and snippy and not a very fun mommy to be around. My girls sensing how bad a day I was having got together and decided to give Mom a break and be perfect angels all day....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! No, really, they decided to be on their absolute worst behavior imaginable. Natalie was all sass and back talk. She wouldn't do one thing I asked of her, even if it was to go outside and play. Nope, nothing doing. She was adamant about staying as close to me as possible while screeching and whining and basically acting like a 2-year-old. Vanessa was clingy and irritable. She wanted me to know what she wanted without actually telling me. Maybe she thought I had developed ESP overnight. She would scream at me in what I'm sure were words only deemed appropriate for sailors (and I truly think if the sailors could understand what she was saying some of them might even blush). There was nowhere to hide. I couldn't get away from these two little hellions. And to make matters so. much. worse, Vanessa wouldn't sleep. She was tired, there was no question about that, but she wouldn't lay down and take a nap. I tried everything. Of course she ended up passing out way late so it would totally screw up bedtime...which it did. She didn't go to sleep until 11pm last night. We had started bedtime rituals at 8:30. Talk about a long night after a long day.
So, with all this craziness with my two beautiful little girls yesterday, the one thing that someone said to me was, "just think, pretty soon you will have three!". Way to kick me when I'm down. It seems like every time I complain about a bad day or my kids are running in two different directions away from me or I am telling one girl to just leave the other ALONE I have to hear someone remind me that it will just all get worse in a few months. Thanks. I think I get it. Three kids is harder than two. Yep. Makes sense. Is that really what people think you need to hear when your two kids are driving you nuts? That it can only get harder? Yeah, I think not.
Last night as I was desperately trying to get Vanessa to lay down quietly and Natalie was crying because, apparently, only I can lay in bed beside her the correct way, I was totally freaking out. How am I going to manage all three girls? Larry does what he can, but the girls want me. How am I going to be in three separate places at once? Right now I have to put Vanessa to bed first in any way possible, and then I have to go read to and lay with Natalie. If one doesn't get to sleep and cries or yells the other one wakes up too and we have to start all over again, but this time with one kid who is angry they are not first. Or that they are first. Or that they have to go to bed at all. At some point it just becomes chaotic and nothing good or productive happens. And I end up with kids awake at 11pm. That is just not going to fly when Natalie starts school in two weeks. At this point she can sleep in in the morning. Not so much when she has to be to school by 9:15. And then add a screaming baby into the mix.
I am sure everything will work out and we will be able to find some kind of routine that works for us. Just like we did when I was freaking out before we had Vanessa. But right now it seems more like a big black hole that I am falling deeper and deeper into. And if any of you moms of multiples (Andie? Michelle?) have any advice on how to get more than one kid to go to sleep please pass it along. I really need it!!! But please don't tell me it is only going to get worse...or I might just have to punch you!!

Completely obsessed

If I could realistically put everything in my life on hold and camp out in front of the t.v. for two weeks I would. Seriously. That is how into the Olympics I am.
I have always loved the Olympic Games. I remember being a little girl and watching with my mom. We would cheer for our athletes. We would do our own judging of outfits and uniforms. We would get so into it that it seemed we were a part of it in some obscure, removed way. And I guess we were. I guess we still are. After each event I would dream of competing myself. I would jump on my mom's bed, choreographing my own gold medal floor routine. I would go outside, put a stick on the ground and run as fast as I could to a predetermined finish line. I would stand on a box and pretend to cry to my national anthem with my little league softball medal around my neck and a bouquet of wild flowers and weeds. I dreamed of being that good at something. To be considered the best in the entire world. To prove it on not only a national scale, but an international one.
Now, as a mom, I watch Natalie gasp at the gymnasts flinging their perfectly toned bodies this way and that. I watch as she is mesmerized by the synchronized divers flipping perfectly together and going into the water without a splash. I explain to her the objectives in beach volleyball and why they jump so high and hit so hard. And then as I watch her do somersaults across the living room floor I no longer dream the Olympic dream for myself. I now dream it for my girls. My fantasies now have me cheering in the stands, watching my baby have a medal slipped around her neck. Her being the best.
The Olympics are about so much more than winning though. They are about representing your country. They are about competition and being a good sport. They are about congratulating even the last place finisher for even making it this far. They are about watching an injured athlete hobble to the finish line or land a difficult move. They are about bringing a sport that doesn't get a lot of coverage to the forefront, if only for a few minutes. They are about dreaming the impossible and the hard work that it takes to make those dreams come true.
So, until the closing ceremonies put a finish to the games for another four years, I will be watching. I will watch them swim and flip and run and jump and jab and shoot and hit and play for the top spot. I will watch them cry with happiness and disappointment. I will watch people become the pride of their country...win or lose. And I will love every minute of it.

"It's definately not lake weather...that's for sure!"

That was a quote from the weather report we heard on the radio Saturday evening. We were on our way home from the lake!

Saturday was our annual family reunion (Larry's dad's side) at Fall River. Yes, it was a little rainy. Yes, it was a little chilly at times. But all in all it was SO nice. I was glad it wasn't 100 degrees out. It was actually really comfortable. It only sprinkled on us for the most part. It did downpour at the end of the day, but by that time we were all eating under one of the lake's shelters.

I love seeing Larry's family. After seven years I feel like an actual member of the group! They are such nice, down-to-earth people that I think it would be pretty hard not to like them. There were quite a few that weren't able to be there, or had to leave early due to weather, health, and driving distance. Much of Larry's immediate family was there, and it is always nice to get together with them too! Natalie and Vanessa played with their cousins in the rain, and is there anything more fun for a kid then splashing through rain puddles? They were soaked and dirty by the time the day was done, but I had brought extra outfits for them so the ride home could be comfy and dry.

So who cares if it wasn't ideal lake weather. It was still a day full of fun!

Here is Larry challenging our nephew Cody to a game of Ladder Ball. Let's just say the result didn't go Larry's way!!

Vanessa drinking a capri sun, watching Daddy.

Natalie watching Daddy and playing with a poor little worm!

Vanessa making her littlest cousing Brayden laugh (before he decided he didn't like her anymore!)

Playing in the water! Natalie with wet hair, watching a movie on the way home. A pic out the front window on our way home.

Updates from the Doc

Yesterday was my 25-week doctor's appointment. My wonderful cousin Michelle watched the girls for me (thank you so much Michelle). The appointment went well, everything is looking good. She had looked at the ultrasound and everything looks like it is there where it should be! Baby is still a girl! The only thing that is changing is my due date....maybe. Right now we are still sticking with November 21st as my official date, but the ultrasound estimated it at November 15th, and I am measuring (from the outside) at 27 weeks instead of 25. So maybe we will be seeing this baby a little earlier than expected. Well, not than I expected, because I have thought my due date should be a little earlier from the start. I kinda know when this all happened! We are going to measure again next appointment and maybe do another sono to get a more accurate picture of when she might debut. The other thing I learned is that my placenta is in the front of my uterus (I know, too much info!) which accounts for the fact that I haven't been able to feel this baby move as much as I did the other two. This has worried me for a while, so it was nice to find out why. The placenta is actually acting as a cushion to my baby's elbows and knees. I still feel her straight up and straight down, and I am starting to feel her more in the front as she gets stronger and bigger.

Sweet, sweet relief

For the past four or five days I have felt SO bad. I have been pukey and tired and, as I'm sure my family will tell you, cranky. I had absolutely no energy to do anything. I didn't clean or cook. I hardly could haul myself off the couch. I'm telling you, 100 plus temps and pregnancy just don't mix well.
So when I woke this morning to a crack of thunder I was giddy with excitement. I just wanted it to rain and cool down. And now, here it is, one in the afternoon...and it's 80 degrees!! That is a full twenty degrees less than it had been at this time for the past week. It feels great! Natalie played outside this morning (and only came in because the mosquitoes wouldn't leave her precious baby skin alone). She even had her lunch picnic style on the back deck.
I feel 100% better already. I have done dishes, picked up piles of toys, played baby dolls with my baby girls, made lunch for all of us, and been in a good mood. I am sure my daughters and husband are just as happy with the weather change as I am. But they might even be happier that I am not a lazy heap of angry mama anymore.
I know that this "cool" weather can't and won't last forever...but for now this woman is enjoying the heck out of it!

Finally getting my money's worth

For years now General Mills has been making a killing off me. They probably have a golden plaque hanging in their office with me and my girls smiling, holding our favorite boxes of cereal, and throwing money into the air. I wouldn't doubt it.

So, one of the most frivolous ways we send our money to General Mills is our endless purchases of Lucky Charms. Because seriously, all Natalie wants are those little pieces of colorful, sugary marshmallows. She could care less about the actual cereal pieces, those just get in the way. And the marshmallows that come in Lucky Charms are NOT the same as marshmallows you can buy bagged...for cheaper...without any annoying grains. So, with empty promises from my four-year-old that this time she will eat all of the cereal, I buy the mega size box and end up throwing away enough cereal to feed a not-so-small country. I feel so wasteful.

So, this morning Natalie was fishing through her bowl and munching on her marshmallows when Vanessa wandered up. She had already had her mini pancakes for breakfast, but apparently she was still hungry. She dug her hands into Nat's cereal bowl and came up with a handful of the leftover cereal. She started eating it...and loved it! So I had Natalie giving her the pieces of cereal while she ate the marshmallows and when they were all done there was hardly any waste!
HA HA General Mills!!

Party! Party!

I'm hot. Really, really hot. This weekend was a blast, and we did lots of great things, but I could have done with a little less of the scorching heat. I would take 90s at this point...just nothing above 100.

Friday night was my Uncle Terry's and Aunt Barb's 40th wedding anniversary. They had a party at Sedgwick County Park (in an air conditioned building, thank god). My Uncle Terry has had a pretty hard year health wise, but is doing fabulously now. I am so proud of his work to get back on his feet (quite literally). My Aunt Barb has been by his side the entire time, and he has even said that without her he wouldn't be here any more. What more can anybody want from life than that one person that makes you want to keep going? Isn't that the epitome of great love?

It was a really nice party. Most of my extended family was there. Actually, I think all but 2 of the 12 cousins were there. And one just had a baby that morning...so she had a pretty good excuse. Natalie played with the kids, of course. She had such a great time, she really didn't want to leave. But she was given the go-ahead to take home a balloon, so that made going a little easier. Here is a picture I stole from my cousin's blog. (I am horrified by how pregnant I already look! I am only 24 weeks!) These are all but one of the girl cousins in my family.

Saturday we had another party to go to! This one was a summer bash for the kiddos at my neighbor (and friends) house. It was hot out, but they set up a little swimming pool, a slip-n-slide, and a jumpy house thing. The kids didn't notice the 100 degree heat at all! They all played and dumped buckets of water on each other until they were exhausted. There was even an impromptu water balloon fight. Truth is, though, that that had more to do with the dads then the kids. But seeing someone not expecting it get soaked with a flying water balloon never gets old, does it? I have to admit I laughed....and held the camera and Vanessa firmly in front of me at all times! They wouldn't ruin my camera or hit my baby, would they? I think not.

Again, my kids had a great time. Natalie got to play with all her best friends. She hardly took the time to sit down and eat. Luckily, I knew she couldn't resist classic pasta salad so that is what I brought. She slowly had two plates of it as she ran back to me from various fun activities infinitely more important than fueling her body. I completely understood. But the food was really good and the company even better. Here are a few pics from the event. As you can probably tell, I didn't get many good pictures of Nat...she just wouldn't stay still enough!

I'm up for the challenge!

My friend Sarah at The Denny Daily issued this challenge to all of us: come up with a list of 100 things about yourself that people might not know. I understand that there are some of you who read this that will probably know all of these things, but there are some that won't, so this is for you! After you read my list go make your own. They are fun to do and even more fun to read someone else's. I am looking forward to reading yours (leave a comment that you did one!).

1. I am obsessed with college basketball.
2. My favorite team is the Kansas Jayhawks.
3. My freshman year in college I went to every home game.
4. Including scrimmages and exhibitions.
5. We would camp out in groups for days before the game.
6. Roy Williams would bring us donuts.
7. On senior night I was able to sit on press row right on the court.
8. One of my favorite pictures of all time is of myself and Max Falkenstein (the long time radio announcer of the Hawks) taken that night.
9. From the beginning I said I wasn't having any kids after I turned 30.
10. My third and final child is due right around my 29th birthday.
11. I am VERY happy I am having another girl.
12. My girls sometimes drive me nuts.
13. There are days I don't want to be a stay-at-home-mom anymore.
14. I am overall very grateful that I get to be a SAHM.
15. But I wish I earned my own money.
16. My husband is much better with money than I am.
17. I am a sucker for garage sales.
18. I am a pack-rat.
19. I still wear some clothes that I wore in high school ten years ago.
20. I wish I could get rid of stuff.
21. But I always think I will regret parting with it.
22. I like to have stuff "just in case".
23. This is my husbands biggest gripe about me.
24. My house is cluttered because I won't get rid of stuff.
25. I wish it wasn't.
26. I wish my house was always clean enough that I didn't mind if people just stopped by.
27. It rarely is.
28. I love my house.
29. But wish we would finish all the remodeling things we want to do.
30. And I wish it had two more bedrooms.
31. And one more bathroom.
32. And the basement was finished for a playroom.
33. And it was in a different part of town.
34. But I really do love my house!
35. I am very close with my mom.
36. We talk multiple times a day.
37. I don't know what I would do without her.
38. That is a big reason I wouldn't want to move away from Wichita.
39. I still dream about moving somewhere else.
40. I would love to live in the mountains in Colorado.
41. Or on a lake in Minnesota.
42. But I hate driving in snow and ice, so those aren't great choices.
43. I loved my wedding.
44. Even though it was about a thousand degrees out.
45. My wedding dress is still the most beautiful one I have ever seen.
46. I would change a lot of the music, however.
47. I have craved cereal throughout every pregnancy.
48. My two favorite cereals are Raisin Bran and Fruity Pebbles.
49. I am lucky enough to have two best friends.
50. I met Liz approximately 9 years ago in college.
51. We lived in an apartment together for two years.
52. I met Carisa approximately 3 years ago when she moved in across the street.
53. I talk to her almost every day.
54. I hope I am friends with both of them forever.
55. I have known Sarah (the challenger) since she was born.
56. Our parents are best friends.
57. I was always envious of her courage.
58. I loved going out to her house for parties and get-togethers.
59. I miss seeing her and her sister.
60. But I am so thankful that we have reconnected through our blogs.
61. I am addicted to Reality TV.
62. My favorites are the Amazing Race and Project Runway.
63. When we lived in Lawrence, Larry would tape the Amazing Race and we would watch it when I got home from work.
64. I worked at Dillons through college.
65. I quit when I got pregnant with Natalie and was so sick.
66. I drink way to much pop.
67. I don't drink enough water.
68. I majored in magazine journalism at KU.
69. My favorite class was called Magazine Design.
70. For my final senior project I created a music magazine called Second Time Around.
71. I wish I would have focused more on it.
72. I was preoccupied with wedding plans (I got married two weeks after graduation).
73. I know I would take college more seriously at this age then I did at 18 to 22.
74. I have my diploma hanging on the wall.
75. I love to scrapbook.
76. I think I like it so much because it reminds me of designing magazine pages.
77. Scrapbooking is my creative outlet.
78. One of my favorite outings with my girls is to the library.
79. I am currently reading a book called, "Tip Off: How the 1984 NBA Draft Changed Basketball Forever".
80. I love to read.
81. I am proud that I have also instilled that love of reading in my kids.
82. I read at least three books to Natalie every night before bed.
83. I can't wait until Vanessa will sit still enough to join us.
84. Vanessa's smile melts my heart.
85. Natalie's giggle also melts my heart.
86. I can't wait until 7 each day when Larry gets off of work.
87. I would still rather hang out with him then anyone else.
88. He knows all my deep, dark secrets.
89. He can make me laugh like no one else.
90. I feel lucky to have the in laws that I do.
91. I feel lucky to have the family I do.
92. I feel lucky to have the life that I do.
93. I have thought extensively about how I will spend the money when I win the lottery.
94. I wish we had the means to travel more.
95. I am already planning next years vacation.
96. I wish we could go to the lake this weekend.
97. I wish the weather would cool down a little.
98. I started this list last night and then had to continue it this morning.
99. I have a lot to do today.
100. I am happy.

Not blogging makes me sad.

I have been neglecting my blog lately. If I do have a few minutes (which doesn't happen that often), I just can't make myself sit down and type. There are so many other things to do, both necessary and just fun. Like this morning. Instead of just coming home after dropping Natalie off for her last day of summer school I went to a consignment sale. I didn't buy much, just a winter outfit for each girl and a cheap maternity tank top for myself, but I just kept walking around. Vanessa was in her stroller and it was so nice to be able to browse without chasing a kid, or yelling at anyone to stop right there, or putting endless things back on hangers that someone had pulled off and thrown to the floor. I just looked and then looked again. Sometimes I need time for myself even if I am not actually by myself...does that make sense?

Anyway, as I mentioned already, today was Natalie's last day in her summer class. That means one month until she starts real preschool three days a week. She is excited about that, but really wishes she could have the same teacher she has now. Miss Shannon is a college student that helps out at the Children's Day Out program that Nat attends. She is so great. When she took over the class in the middle of last year you could see the change that occurred in Natalie and her outlook at going to school. All of a sudden she wasn't just playing by herself. She was making friends and leading groups of kids in games. She was talking and singing and being the cool little girl she is at home. I credit Miss Shannon for bringing out the best in my little girl. She made her feel comfortable and self-assured. She was always telling Nat how neat of a kid she is, yet still keeping her extremely active nature in check. As a mom it is so hard sending out your little kid into the big, bad world. Miss Shannon was a great first step for me and my daughter.
For the last day I made Miss Shannon a card and Nat and I bought her a gift certificate to Bath and Body Works. I hope she knows how awesome she has been for us. I hope I always got that across to her. Teachers deserve all the respect and accolades in the world...especially the good ones!

The reluctantly proud owner of a big red minivan!

We bought a minivan. There was just no way around it. My Hyundai worked fine for two kids and all our stuff, but add another kid and more stuff and it was just going to be too small. I have to admit I was a little sad. We bought my car less than a year ago (August) and I still loved it very much. I wasn't ready to become a "minivan mom", but like I said, it was a must.

Finding a nice van for a reasonable price proved to be a job within itself. We scoured the internet, checked the classifieds, and browsed at car lots daily. Everything was either too junky, had too many miles, or was too expensive (or a combination of all three). Since we sold our other car last week we decided that this weekend would be devoted to van shopping. We started off after lunch. We drove around a bit and then decided to go to Augusta to see one we had found in the paper. We got there and looked at it and it was ok, but not great. There were some definite cosmetic issues with it among other things. I wanted some ice cream so Larry was going to turn around in a parking lot and go back to Dairy Queen. We turned in and there it was. A pretty red minivan for sale by owner. It was close to the right price, had close to the right mileage, and looked nicer than any we had looked at so far. We called the number and the guy came right down so we could look in it and Larry could take it for a test drive. It was like fate. If we hadn't gone to Augusta or if I hadn't wanted ice cream or if Larry had chosen any other parking lot to turn around in we most likely wouldn't have found this van.
We met the guy selling the van this morning at his credit union so he could pay off his lean and sign over the title. We handed over the cash and we were the owners of a bright red Pontiac Montana. I drove it home and really liked it. So did Natalie. She sat in the far back and thought it was so funny that we were so far away from each other. She also liked the personal vent blowing cold air right onto her. I was a little nervous about driving something bigger than my car, but it was surprisingly nice and easy.
So, all in all I am happy with our purchase. I feel a lot more ready to welcome a new little person into our family now that we actually have a vehicle that will fit her. This was a big step in getting prepared for Baby Girl. We have a lot more to do, of course, but this sure was a biggie. So I am now an official member of the minivan club (most of my friends are already members...my friend across the street actually has a Montana just like the one we just bought, but in gold). Next step.....soccer mom!!!

Bittersweet

We sold our Honda today. The Honda that was the first car we bought together. The Honda that brought my babies home from the hospital. The Honda that had almost 200,000 miles on it. The Honda that I loved.
It is a good thing because we are currently in the process of searching for a minivan and need some money to actually buy one. We got a little bit more than we were expecting to get, so we were happy about that. A guy from Eureka bought it and his wife is on her way into town to pick up the car and title.
It was such a good car. We didn't have to do much work on it in the years that we had it. It always got us to where we needed to go. The paint was peeling a little and there were a few little dents and dings, but overall it was still in great shape. But it was a standard and I have to tell ya, I love me an automatic now. But, anyway, I am going to miss that car. The same way I still miss my Dodge Shadow that saw me through college, meeting my future husband, and all the back and forth from Lawrence to Wichita to see said future husband. I get kind of attached to my cars if you can't tell.
I will miss you Honda, but I am so looking forward to having a whole third row of seating to haul around my gaggle of kiddos and all the stuff that comes along with them. Now, on to look for a minivan!

Little bits of weekend

--The highlight of the weekend was probably when Larry felt the baby move for the first time. Just like with the first two pregnancies, I told him the baby was moving quite a bit and he came over and put his hand on my tummy. "I can only feel you breathing." So I held my breath. I kept feeling her move around on my lower right side. I kept telling him his hand was too far left and too high. And all of a sudden she kicked (or punched) right where his hand was. We were both surprised and he said, "I felt THAT!" It was like a special little kick just for him. Already a daddy's girl!!

--The heartburn is back. I HATE heartburn. At least it is not the all the time kind...yet. Right now it is just everytime I take a bite of food or a drink it feels kind of like I might urp up flames. Fun fun. So I am back to my love affair with smooth disolve tums.

--Larry surprised us with a trip to the zoo on Sunday. He told us to get ready to go and I figured we were just going out to lunch. So when we ended up at the zoo we were all happy. Except since I didn't know that was where we were going I didn't bring the sunscreen or the camera. We kept the girls in the shade and protected from the worst of the sun. My shoulders, however, got a little burned. But that is better then the girls precious little skin. I did miss many photo ops with Daddy and the girls, but like he said, there will be other times. Yeah, I guess so.

--My sweet husband also had another surprise for me. For the longest time I have hinted and joked that I wanted a Cricut machine (it is a small computer like thing that cuts out shapes and letters for scrapbooking). I have been casually looking for good deals or sales but never really found any. They can be pretty expensive. So one night he was teasing me about it and all of a sudden he said, "Well you will get your stupid Cricut soon." WHAT?!?! He found a good deal for a new in the box machine on ebay and bought it for me. I was so surprised! It was not only sweet that he bought me a Cricut, but just how he did it...as a complete surprise! It came in the mail today and I can't wait to play with it!!

So, that's about it. It was one of those weekends that you wish would never end. I just love my family so much. We have such a good time together. Now I just can't wait until next weekend!

One of the many reasons I love having girls!

Playing dress up!!!

Dressing up is hard work...and Vanessa is D-O-N-E!

Monday: It was spaghetti night....see for yourself.....

Tuesday: Breakfast Night. Pancakes, sausage, eggs, toast, and sliced bananas

Wednesday: I am going to attempt fried chicken. This time I am going to use the recipe on the side of the Bisquick box. This meal always ends up in such a mess! I will also make a potato of some sort, green beans, and rolls. And a fruit as always!!

Thursday: Cheeseburgers, baked fries, and a fruit salad.

Friday: Find your own night!

Fast Food Connoisseur

Natalie: Hey Mom! Did you get these chicken nuggets from Wendy's?
Me: No.
Natalie: Well, they aren't from Ronald McDonald's. And their not little crowns like from Burger King.
Me: Nope.
Natalie: Where did you get them?
Me: The freezer.
....pause while she inspects the nuggets....
Natalie:Are you SURE they aren't from Wendy's? They sure look like they are from Wendy's.

Uh oh, I feel a politically fueled rant coming on....

{I realize I already posted once today, but I just can't get my kids to sit and listen to my political hissy fits anymore. So you get to! Aren't you lucky?!?!}

I just read on the AOL homepage that Steve and Barry's, the low cost clothing store, has filed for bankruptcy. Now, you may be saying, "So what", but I see it as another reason to dislike our president even more powerfully then I already do (notice I didn't say hate...I am trying to get Nat to stop saying it but it doesn't help when I am screaming "George Bush! You effing idiot! I HATE you!!).

When you examine why a low cost clothing store is going under instead of a high-end, high cost clothing store you just have to look at the economic situation of our country. My point is...the rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer. The wealthy people of our country still have the cash to shop on Melrose and wear their Armani to the grocery store. The less-wealthy of us don't even have the money to buy a pair of flip flops at Wal-Mart. The economy is in a recession, even though we are told it is not. We were also told Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. People, we are not always told the truth in America, no matter what they say. People can't find jobs. They are losing their houses. They can't buy gas for their cars. They are having trouble affording to feed themselves and their families. It is just so sad. And all for what? Bush's personal vendetta against Iraq and Sadam Husein?
When our president came into office he was working with a surplus of money. A SURPLUS!! We were doing well as a country. People had money to go on vacations, buy clothes, do things that may have been a little bit on the extravagant side. Our economy was strong because it was stimulating itself. When the money left one person's pocket it went into anther's. That is how things work.
Take my Dad's profession for example. A lot of what he does is "extras" that people may not need but they want. People want a nice deck on the back of their house. People want a fresh coat of paint on their walls. People want a newly remodeled kitchen. But when having to decided between those things that they want and, let's say, eating for the next month, most people will choose eating. So they don't hire my Dad. And my Dad doesn't make money. So he doesn't go to Best Buy and pick up the cd he really wants. So Best Buy doesn't make money either. It is all a giant circular pattern of economic growth.
So, now stores meant to cater to the lower income families of America are having to shut their doors. More people are losing their minimum wage jobs. They now can't pay their rent or mortgage and so they lose their homes. All the while, the stars in Hollywood are upgrading from a 15-bedroom mansion to a 20-bedroom mansion on their enormous paychecks they get from doing as important of a job as acting.
I appreciate everything our family has. We have a roof over our heads, food in our tummies, and clothes on our backs. But it scares me that there may come a time that even those things will be hard to come by in this economy. Our money goes overseas to continue fighting a "war" that we said we "won" how many years ago??? With all of the other problems in the world, and right here in our own back yard, I just can't see any justification in it. I have to tell ya, I would much rather my president be getting a blow job in the oval office then sending our country into a downward spiral of economic depression. But maybe that's just me.

What am I going to do now?

My friend is leaving me.

Ok, that's not entirely accurate. She is actually just moving from across the street to a wonderful new house. I should be completely happy for her. The house they are moving to is in a great small town with wonderful schools. There will be enough bedrooms for everyone. They are getting to remodel it exactly the way they want. It is perfect for them! And I am happy for her (and more than a little jealous!). But what am I going to do when she is not across the street anymore?
When they moved into the neighborhood a couple of years ago I was going through a very lonely point in my life. Natalie was little and I stayed home alone with her most of the time. All I wanted was a good friend that I could call as often as I needed to cry or complain or brag or just talk. I needed someone who could relate to me and knew what it was that I was going through. I needed someone close that could give me at least some kind of escape. So when I saw a young family move in to the house across the street I was optimistic.
I would consider myself pretty outgoing but also shy (does that make any sense?). So it took a lot for me to finally go over and introduce myself. I met her and her kids and liked them all right away. We began getting together to let the kids play. We would sit and talk while they ran wild. Slowly we started to talk more and more until it was to the point that if I didn't talk to her for a couple of days I would go into withdraw. We became super close. We told each other everything and I always knew I was talking to someone who wouldn't judge me. She is someone who laughs at me when I need laughed at, is sympathetic when I need it, gives me advice and makes things a little easier to deal with. I hope she feels the same way.
I talk about this like I will never see her again. I know we will still talk on the phone....maybe more! I know we will still get together and talk while the kids run wild. I know I am not actually losing my friend. But who am I going to call when I need someone to come see if my outfit makes me look ridiculous? Who else will offer to watch Natalie while Vanessa and I nap after a night of approximately two hours of sleep total (like she did yesterday)? Who is going to be right across the street when I need a friend?
I will miss you living so close Carisa....but I am so happy you found a place to raise your family that you will feel safe and happy in. But still. I will miss you.

A letter to the Goddess of Pregnancy

Dear Miss Goddess,
Hello. My name is Loni and I am sure you are familiar with my work. Actually, I am pretty sure I am a running joke in Goddess land at this point. I don't like to bitch (ok, who are we kidding here? I could go to Beijing next month and win the gold, silver, AND bronze medal in the sport of bitching). I do, however, have a few requests for you.
First, could we please put a stop to the endless puking? Pretty please? I feel I was pretty reasonable about it the first pregnancy. Sure, there was the time I cursed you for making me lose my strawberries into a plastic bag as I was driving down the street, but come on! That was a little dramatic wasn't it? I will admit that with the second pregnancy I was a little less forgiving with the situation. It was just very frustrating to have a three year old outside the bathroom door making gagging noises so everyone knew just how funny it was that mommy had to sprint to the bathroom every morning. Ha ha, what a funny, funny joke. But now, twenty-one weeks into my third pregnancy and still with the hurling?!?! I have now puked my way through two pregnancies right up to and including the actual pushing out of the babies. Can I get a break please? Just once I would like to get up out of bed, rub my ever expanding tummy, and not immediately retch like a dying animal. Just once.
My next piece of business is this "pregnancy glow" everyone talks about. I would like to know where mine might be. I do glow I guess, but it is more of a green hue then the nice, soft pink I expected. Maybe I do glow but can't see it through all this teenage-like acne I got goin' on here. I have break outs a sixteen year old would shudder at the sight of. Anyway, if you could just let me have a partial glow, or a hint of glow, anything.....I would appreciate it.
Finally, and again, I don't mean to bitch, but let's talk about these mood swings. Oh. My. God. I was flipping through the channels last week and Natalie wanted to stop at this "So You Think You Can Dance" program. I don't watch that show at all. It just doesn't capture my interest the same way, oh I don't know, watching Tori Spelling be a complete nut job on the Oxygen network does (and is it good that I see so much of myself in her?). So anyway, we were watching this couple fling their arms about and jump around the room like toddlers and I started crying. Crying full on tears. I don't even know why. I didn't find the dance all that moving, or even pretty. But there I was with tears running down onto the neck of my t-shirt. It was embarrassing even though no one actually noticed (which is another topic entirely). Why must I cry for absolutely no reason? I know, I know, the hormones and all that. But if I could just be on an even keel for a little while my life, not to mention the lives of my husband and children, would be a lot less crazy.
These are just some things to think about for the last half of my final pregnancy. I sure would like a chance to actually enjoy making a little person, like that mom on the cover of "What to Expect When You're Expecting". She looks so happy and serene with not a hint of a puke stain on her shirt or a blemish on her tear-free face. I really kind of hate that woman. Anyway, thanks for at least considering my requests. Here is to a happy pregnancy and easy delivery!!
Loni