Reclaiming my kid

***Update: Was sent to the hospital yesterday afternoon. Was told I have another UTI and was pretty dehydrated. Was given an IV (ouch!) and a few prescriptions. Am now feeling a lot better. Thank you all for your concern!***

When Natalie was born I made a conscious decision to be extremely diligent when it came to choosing the television she was allowed to watch. I always watched with her and usually chose shows like Sesame Street or Dragon Tales (gotta love some good 'ole PBS). As she got older she was allowed to watch a more diverse array of TV, but I was still on top of the shows that were allowed. Then Vanessa was born. I am embarrassed and sad to admit that my attention to the shows she watched became less and less. All of a sudden she was watching things like Sponge Bob and Fairly Odd Parents, both very funny, but SO not appropriate for my four-year-old daughter. As long as she was content and busy and I was able to care for the baby (or, on occasion, myself) I was ok.
As time went on she became more and more disrespectful. She began to use the word "hate" in every other sentence. She began to call names. She simulated violence. It got seriously out of control. And for the longest time I was all..."duuuhhh. Why is she so mean all of a sudden?" Well, just call me stupid (she certainly has). When I actually sat down and watched these "kid" shows I was appalled. There was Sponge Bob and Mr. Krabs trying to hide a dead body!!! There was Timmy Turner wishing actual harm on other characters. And some of the other shows that just happened to come on after an episode of her show were even worse! There was no educational value to these shows. There wasn't any lessons to be learned from the bad behavior of the characters. It was just awful. And not only was Natalie watching and reenacting these events, but Vanessa was beginning to take interest too.
I couldn't let my impressionable little girls be raised to think these things were alright. I was always so adamant that Larry not play any violent video games until after the kids bedtime. I would watch the soap opera that I used to watch with closed captioning and no sound and then turn the channel when things got the least bit inappropriate. We would tape shows that we liked and watch them late so the kids wouldn't be exposed to things we didn't want them to be. And all along I was encouraging her to watch things that were just as bad and actually aimed at kids!!! I can barely type these words due to my severe mortification. How did I become so blind to what TV was doing to my kid?
Now you can stick a fork in me, because I am done! I am not clueless and I realize I can't protect my children from bad things forever, but I CAN and WILL make sure I am not the one exposing them to these kinds of things. I thought it would be a fight to get Natalie off her addiction to Sponge Bob. My kid is just like any other when it comes to hearing the word NO and then wanting whatever it is even more. So I never said I was taking Sponge Bob or any other show away. I discussed it with Larry and together we are just not turning that on. I mean, we are the adults, we do have control over the remote! And really it hasn't been that bad. She has asked if it was on a few times but, even if it was, we have said no. I don't feel like this is lying to her, but if it is, I am ok with that. As a result she has rediscovered some of her favorite shows. A big hit right now is Maggie and the Ferocious Beast. We have a few videos and I let her watch an episode or two and she is happy with it. She asks for Noggin or Sprout or PBS Kids (doink...you get that if you watch it!). She also watches less TV since I have become the remote Nazi. The girls play dolls together or store (although Vanessa isn't good at that one yet and Natalie always gets frustrated that she won't buy her stuff like she is supposed to). She plays a game on her V.Smile or runs around the backyard. She reads books and makes up silly songs. And she is happy.
We are still working on undoing the harm that my inattention to TV did to her. We are desperately trying new techniques to get her to stop calling names and showing her anger in more constructive ways then just telling us she hates us and wants new parents. Last night we sat down and read three books all about how some of her favorite literary characters handle their anger and then discussed them. It is a slow process but I am confident we will overcome it. She is a sweet little girl with a big heart and more often than not shows us all her good side. I am not expecting her to become an angel, she is my daughter after all. I just want to know that I am doing all I can to turn her into a the nice, caring individual I know she will be.