Writer's Workshop Thursday

Writer's Workshop Thursday

hosted by Mama's Losin' It

MY TEN BIGGEST FEARS

1. ANYTHING happening to my kids. I cannot even contemplate the horror of something bad happening to my babies. I don't even like to talk about it.

2. An intruder in my home. I actually lay in bed at night and plot my strategy if this were to happen. My husband is a very heavy sleeper and I have often been scared that I wouldn't be able to wake him up. This is why I keep a little glass of water on our dresser, just in case I need to throw it on his face to get him up!

3. Elevators. Oh, how I hate elevators. If there are stairs or an escalator I will take them if at all possible. I hate going somewhere with multiple floors while pushing a stroller. I have to take the elevator then, and if I were prone to hyperventilating, I am sure that is when I would do it. This leads me to my next fear...

4. Being buried alive. Small, confined spaces freak me out. This would be the ultimate small, confined space. I don't even like to watch movies where this happens.

5. Dying without being able to tell someone exactly how to raise the girls. This is my control freak coming out. I am always telling Larry or my Mom things that they should know if I wasn't around anymore. Things like you have to give Vanessa snacks in groups of two because she likes one in both hands. Or that when Natalie wakes up crying from a nightmare you can try to comfort her, but really she just wants you there laying beside her while she cries it out for a while. Yeah, I even have those "open in case of my death" letters that contain more instructions. Control. Freak.

6. Change. I have always feared change. Growing up was so hard for me because there was constant change. You can imagine how I reacted when I got my first period! And then on the other hand....

7. Staying the same. Yes, I know this is hypocritical. But as much as I fear a lot of change, I also fear not ever moving forward in my life. It would be horrible to find myself in the same ruts in twenty years.

8. Dirt roads. I grew up on a dirt road. A lot of my friends lived on dirt roads. And I rolled my first truck at the age of 15 on a dirt road. I was young and stupid. I was going too fast and got over into the loose gravel on the side, lost control and over I went. When I "woke up" running down the road covered in blood it was the most scared I have ever been in my life. Luckily I was ok, just a few cuts and bruises, but the mental scars stay with me to this day. I am ok when I am driving because I feel like I can be in control. When someone else is driving I freak out. I grab the arm rest and hold on for dear life.

9. Failing. I want to succeed. I am not sure yet how I am going to gauge my success in the end, but I know I want to get there. I know I want to be a good mom and raise good daughters. I know I want a career that I like, am good at, and can provide a good life for my family. I know that I want to get past my hangups and overcome my more negative points.

10. Being alone. I am so dependant on the support system that has built itself around me. I have my husband, my kids, my parents, my in-laws, my extended family, and, of course, my friends. I couldn't get through a minute, let alone a lifetime, without them.

So, there you have 'em! Your turn!!