Thumpity-Thump

I heard a nice strong heartbeat...and only one that we could hear!!! Next appointment is July 3rd with a sonogram!!!

It's silly, but I'm nervous

I have a appointment to see my doctor this afternoon and I must admit, I'm a bit nervous. This will be the first time I will get to hear my third child's heartbeat. My last appointment was just a little too early to be checking for it. I'm really glad she didn't even try because if she wouldn't have found it I would have just freaked out until this appointment today.
I really am not all that sure why I am so nervous, but every time I think about it I get butterflies in my stomach. First of all, I just really want it to be there for me to hear. Someone I care about very much just lost her baby and she was a couple weeks farther along than me. That scared me more than I admitted to anyone. Once you get past a certain point you tend to let your guard down a little, or at least I do. I realize anything can happen at any time. So I really just want to hear that little thump-thump-thump.
The other thing I really want is to just hear one little heartbeat. For some reason I am terrified of having twins. I know the odds are low, but I am still worried. I even dream about it. I am getting bigger faster this time so everyone says "oh, maybe it's two" and I smile and laugh while inside I am screaming and crying. What would I do with two? I don't even want to imagine the possibility.
So, I will update later and let you all know what I hear. Good luck to us!!

Yeah, so maybe I should make more of an effort

Apparently my daughters hardly recognize me if I am not in ratty sweats and a ponytail.


Sunday I went to a bridal shower at the Wichita Country Club for a girl I have known...well, since birth. Since the shower was at a country club and not the local Mickey D's I figured I had better try to make myself a little more presentable. I have a very limited amount of clothing that I can wear at this point in my pregnancy. Either stuff is too big and has to be put aside until I am further along and larger or it is not elastic waist, which is to say that I refuse to wear it because I have just enough belly for that to be really, really uncomfortable. So needless to say, I had to go buy something new. I found a way cute dress at Target on clearance(!!!) that wasn't maternity but looked ok on my new rounder body. To make it even better I already had shoes to match so I didn't have to spend money on more shoes (although I was totally tempted to find some sparkly sandals of some sort).


On Sunday I got all dolled up (which means I showered, shaved, did my hair, and put on make-up...go me!) and slipped into my room to commence my clothing ritual. This includes getting fully dressed, looking in the mirror, deciding I can't go in public looking like this even though I just bought the damn dress for this occasion, taking everything off, trying something else that looks even more hideous, ripping though my closet for anything that might look half way decent, realizing that I don't have anything else which is why I bought something new in the first place, and then going back to the original outfit and realizing it doesn't look that bad. Every time people. You would think I would learn.


So I finally finished getting ready and walked out into the living room where Larry and the girls were rolling their eyes about how long this all was taking me. Natalie looked at me like a martian had just poofed into the house and stolen her last cookie. "Mom! You look pretty!" Vanessa slowly made her way over to me trying to decide if this was, in fact, her mommy and not some better dressed, better taken care of replacement mommy. When they got over the shock of me in something without a stain on it, they wouldn't leave me alone. Natalie was all, "Look at your earrings! Look at you shoes with cute bows! Look at your shiny lips!" She couldn't get over it. Vanessa just really liked the fabric at the bottom of my dress.


Anyway, I had a really good time at the shower. It was great seeing my friend again. The only thing that sucked was I couldn't have one of the tasty, bubbly, beautiful glasses of champagne and had to have ice water (the things I do for my kids!). But all in all it was a good time. I have a few pictures here of me at the shower and then some Natalie took because she needed proof that this was real and not some figment of her imagination. I really do think I need to dress up more often. If for no other reason than to show my girls I can.

In Bloom

I love my backyard in the spring and early summer!

Just an observation

I was flipping through channels the other night and came across David Letterman. He was interviewing some woman and for the life of me I couldn't figure out who she was. She looked about 35, but when she opened her mouth she sounded like a fourteen-year-old. I finally gave in and turned on the guide and it was Ali Lohan, Lindsey Lohan's little sister. She really is fourteen.
Now, I realize you can't help genetics, and she just naturally looks a lot older than she is. But then the make-up and hair didn't help at all. Whatever happened to 14-year-olds looking 14? She had on all this dark black eye make-up that I know they put on for tv, but it was seriously too much. It made me kind of sad really, to see this little kid looking and trying to act like an adult. Childhood goes far too quickly as it is. Why rush it?
These days all 14-year-old girls want to look 35, and all 35-year-olds want to look fourteen. It's crazy. I want my girls to be happy to be the age they are and enjoy every minute of their childhood. If that means I have to be the mean mom and say no make-up until a certain age or no trampy clothes I will. Even if all their friends are doing it. I want to keep their innocence intact for as long as I can.
Ok, my rant is over.

One of these days my daughter is going to hate me for telling you all this.

Natalie has been potty trained for a while. Emphasis on the word potty. When it came to poop however, things never went as well. She would have times that she would go in the toilet, usually by accident. There were even times that I thought we were over the mountain and told people that, only to be proven wrong the first chance Natalie got.
We encouraged. We offered incentives. We gushed over friends kids that went in the bathroom like big girls and boys. But nothing worked. Natalie still wears a pull-up at night (which hopefully will be changing after we get back from vacation and she starts sleeping in her own bed). I would take her to the potty, kiss her goodnight, and not ten minutes later, "Mom, I accidentally pooped." Or she would get up in the morning and stay in the bedroom until she was done. She became a master at not going until nighttime or morning. It was maddening.
Saturday, at the fireworks, I could tell she wasn't feeling great. Finally she told me her tummy hurt and she needed to potty. We went in to the bathroom at the Lot and low and behold, she pooped. She was pretty happy with herself and was thrilled to be able to actually enjoy herself again. Before she would have just waited and felt crappy until we went home.
Since then she hasn't pooped once in a pull-up. She goes into the bathroom like a big girl and handles her business. We still act like she just won the Nobel Peace Prize every time she goes, but I am sure that will decrease in time. I am just so proud of her right now. This was a major hurdle for her to overcome. It was a fear for her and not just a power play. I realized this and that is why I didn't push her. Yes, she is four-years-old and should have been doing this years ago, but every kid is different. Every kid has their own little quirks and issues. Natalie is growing up. She is realizing that, yeah, there are lots of scary things in the world. But she is also realizing that she can overcome them. She can do things she didn't think she could. All she needs is to believe in herself...with a little help and a lot of support from her ever-loving Mama and Daddy.

Should've just kept my big mouth shut

I was going to post and recap our busy week which included a trip to Exploration Place, Botanica, and a cook out with some friends while watching the fireworks, but I just don't feel good right now.
I was talking to my friend Carisa on the phone earlier and said, quite stupidly, "I think I might be over the throwing up and stuff. I haven't been sick since Mother's Day! And I am in my second trimester now." I totally jinxed myself. Not an hour after I hung up the phone I was running to the bathroom to loose my lunch. And now I just feel icky.
So, yay for being pregnant. I am going to go lay down and watch Maggie and the Ferocious Beast with Natty.

What does this say about me...and do I want to know?

It never fails. Every morning when Vanessa wakes up and demands I come to get her right that instant and not a second longer I am always in the middle of the "best dream ever". It is not always the same dream, but it is always a good one. The kind of dream that even when you wake up you want to stay in bed with your eyes closed and think about it. A couple of days ago I was dreaming that Larry and I were living in New Orleans. We were sitting on our French Quarter balcony and I could just smell the flowers and feel the humidity and taste the morning Mimosa and hear the trumpet player below us. Yes, Larry looked suspiciously like Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall and I more than resembled Idina Menzel, but it was still us and we were living our dream. All of a sudden, breaking into the beautiful trumpeting, I heard, "HIIIIII! HIIIIII! MAAAAMAAAA! HIIIIII!" And I had to drag myself out of bed and go and save my darling daughter from the confines of her crib.
This morning was no different. Vanessa woke me from my dream and I hauled my ever expanding butt out of bed and all of a sudden it hit me. This morning I wasn't dreaming about New Orleans, or Larry, or champagne and orange juice. I was dreaming about laundry. Yep, laundry. But it was the best laundry experience ever!
You see, I hate laundry. No, strike that. I despise laundry. I'm not sure why. It's not like it's that hard to throw some clothes into the machine, pour in some soap and press start. But I always put it off and it gets WAY out of hand and I end up having to sort through a mountain of dirty clothes to find things to wash that actually match. If I don't find outfits before I do the wash I end up with purple pants and a green shirt, or something equally as hideous. But in this dream I would pick up a shirt and there were the shorts to go with it. I found Natalie's bikini bottoms and right there was not only the top, but also the matching skirt. It was laundry nirvana. Every thing had a mate. There was no searching through spaghetti stained wash clothes or still damp bath towels. It was so easy!
I have a few ideas about what this dream might have meant, but I'm pretty sure it is just my brain telling me to quit being such and idiot and get more organized. I mean seriously. If I could just keep up with the laundry and always have things that matched it would save me so much time and aggravation (not to mention the complaining and cussing that inevitably comes out every time I go downstairs to the laundry room). But still, it is pretty sad to be so happy in a dream about household chores isn't it?

Day by Day

Friday: Well, we did end up going to the parade. My sweet mom loaded us all up (me, the girlies, and the big red wagon) and dropped us off at the Lot. The three of us set out to the new, farther away, location. We got there pretty early and got a good curb-side seat. We got settled, I offered Natalie her Capri Sun that I brought for her, and she leaned over the side of the wagon and puked. At this point she still hadn't eaten more than a few bites of spaghetti and a spoonful of chocolate ice cream, so there really wasn't much there. I cleaned it up with a few wipes and then prepared to head out. But Natalie really, really wanted to stay and she felt better. Now, I'm not sure if this is proper parenting, but we stayed. She did great the rest of the parade and even got up and waved and clapped for her favorite things (Ronald McDonald, the big car balloon, the Girl Scouts float, and the clown troupe). Vanessa had a good time too. She waved and clapped at the weirdest times, like to normal cars and the people carrying shovels ready to shovel the horse poo. But whatever, cause they both had fun. Larry met us after he got off of work and then we all went home together. Aside from the throw-up, it turned out to be a very nice evening.

Saturday: We didn't do too much Saturday because I still wasn't 100% convinced Nat was over her virus. We did a little shopping, just the shoe store and Target. Natalie acted fine, but still wasn't eating more than a bite at a time. We were invited to two Mother's Day celebration dinners, but turned them both down to make sure we didn't infect any other little kid with the grossness we had just endured. Larry and Natalie did go to Wal-Mart for a while and when they got home we had this discussion.
Natalie:I need to go outside and get you some flowers.
Me:Maybe tomorrow honey. It's getting a little chilly outside.
Natalie:But we got you red flowers.
Me:I don't think you are supposed to tell me that till tomorrow, right?
Natalie:(pointing at Daddy as he walks in the room)He got you two.
So we had a day early, impromptu Mother's Day gift giving. Larry got me a bouquet of roses, Natalie and Vanessa got me a hanging basket of red flowers for the front porch, and they all got me a new bottle of perfume. It was really sweet.

Sunday: We did end up going to my Mom and Dad's for a B-B-Q lunch. I was having a bad "pregnant day" and not feeling great, so it was actually nice to be somewhere the girls could go a little wild and had plenty of people looking after them. Lunch was delicious, made even better by the fact that we all ate outside. Isn't all food better when eaten outside? I think so. Anyway, we had a really nice visit. Just a little aside...I love you mom. Thanks for being a great mother and teaching me what you have learned. You know how invaluable you are to me and my family so I won't say it again. I am so thankful we have always been close, and even more so that we just continue to get closer. You helped me become the person I am, but let me take my own road to get here. I hope your Mother's Day was fun and relaxing....So, after we got home Vanessa was asleep and Larry took Natalie outside to mow with him. I was (drum roll please) alone! It took me a while to get used to the idea, but not too long! I half watched "Good Will Hunting" and I half slept. Approximately two hours of pure paradise. I would like to say I woke up rejuvenated and feeling fresh, but I just woke up a little less tired. But hey, I'll take what I can get.

Monday: Today was Natalie's last day of her one-day-a-week school (well, until she starts the summer session in June). They had a hot dog lunch party and had dress up costumes in the class. Natalie seemed to have a great time. As soon as she saw the box of clothes she was gone. When I picked her up she proudly said, "Know how many brownies I ate?" and held up three fingers. Don't worry, I saw the size of the brownies and they were really small. Her teacher gave her an absolutely glowing report and I think I actually lit up with pride. She praised her on her imagination and creativity. She was so proud of the little girl Natalie grew to be this year. At the beginning she was quiet and shy and wouldn't talk to other kids. I was worried and talked to her other teacher about it. She didn't really seem concerned. She said Natalie was just adjusting. It turned out she was right. By the end of the year she hugged me goodbye and then was off having a great time. I would pick her up and she would be playing with her friends. I would hear about songs she made up and stories she told. What a great little girl! Happy Mother's Day to me! Anyway, after that we went to the Lot and met up with my sister-in-law, mother-in-law and nephew. We all packed up the wagon and strollers and went down to River Fest where we ran into my other sister-in-law, nephew and a niece. (Follow all that?) It was fun but SO windy. It was crazy. Lots of the kid stuff wasn't even going because of the wind. We spent a while down there anyway and got to the Lot just as Larry was getting off work.

Ok, that was a lot longer than I planned. My fingers are tired. Good night!

Back to the land of the living

It seems we are all getting better around here (and you better believe I am furiously knocking on my wood computer desk).
I really don't even remember much of yesterday. I woke up sick and stayed sick all day. I throw up easily when I am pregnant anyway, add a stomach virus and I was down for the count. Natalie still wasn't feeling well and pretty much just stayed laying on the floor watching cartoons. Luckily for all of us Vanessa took a pretty long nap and then sat in her high chair eating graham crackers until my mom got here and took over. Thank God for my mom. She totally saved the day. If it wasn't for her, Vanessa might still be in her high chair eating nothing but crackers. Needless to say I wasn't the best mommy yesterday. But I think I am forgiven. I mean, I did take care of them when they were throwing up all over me. And you know how grateful 4-year-olds and 1-year-olds are.
We are all feeling a ton better today. Vanessa is even over her diarrhea (YAY!!!). Natalie is feeling better but is still not eating. She hasn't had more than a bite of tater tot since Monday. But she decided that she wants some spaghetti for lunch today, so spaghetti she will have! All she needs to do is get her strength back up and I think she will be almost back to normal.
Maybe stupidly, I am still planning on going to the parade tonight. We haven't missed one since Nat was born and she has been so excited for it for weeks now. It is right by Larry's work so we just bring our chairs and walk a short ways to watch it. Hopefully all will go well, but if you see us you might just want to wave from afar. I don't know if any or all of us are still contagious.
I am so glad we are all getting well for the weekend. We are scheduled to go to my parents for a Mother's Day celebration, but my dad is sick too so we will see. Other than that we don't have any real plans. Just maybe some River Fest stuff, shopping, etc... Natalie wants to go to WalMart and get the hanging basket of red flowers she saw last weekend as my Mother's Day present. She is such a sweetie. Hopefully you are all well and can have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. Remember to hug your mamas and grandmamas. Seriously, we wouldn't be here without them!

This is going to be gross...just be warned!

I thought about sparing you all the disgusting details of life here, but in the spirit of this totally honest blog, I decided against it. Aren't you lucky ducks?
At 2am Natalie began crying. Actually it was more like whimpering in her sleep. I was already awake because my back was killing me so I just rubbed her back and tried to get her back to sleep. I kind of thought it was just a bad dream. I'm not sure why I didn't connect the fact that Vanessa whined in her sleep right before her stomach exploded all over her bed too. Yep, Natalie now has the stomach virus that Vanessa is still trying to get over. While Vanessa only had one bout of throwing up and then a lot of diarrhea, Natalie is still throwing up. She cannot even take a sip of water without it coming back. I am worried about dehydration. At least Ness could drink her water and eat crackers. I don't see getting anything in Natalie's tummy for quite a while. My poor girls are miserable. And let me tell you, this house smells like...well...let's just say it doesn't smell pleasant.
I was just talking yesterday to a good friend of mine about how when you have two kids they just pass sickness to each other. There is nothing worse than having two sick babies at one time. Except if I was sick too (let's all knock on wood and hope I don't get this). Both my girls want me at the same time and I have to decide who needs me worse. That is a horrible decision to make because inevitably one of them is getting less than they deserve. Right now Natalie is laying on the couch watching tv and Vanessa is sitting on my feet. They just look so pitiful. I feel so bad for them.
Just to let you know it took me about an hour to type all of this after having to pause to help Natalie throw up once, poop twice, and change Vanessa's poopy diaper once. It was a very yucky hour. Hopefully things are settled down a little bit. I am going to go snuggle some girls on the couch and enjoy not cleaning anything up right now. Uh oh, I think I spoke to soon.

My poor little Nessa. Not only did she have an ear infection this weekend, she also caught some kind of stomach virus. She kept having really gross diapers and threw up in the middle of Saturday night. I felt so bad for her. I also felt very tired. I still do.
For some happier, and less gross, news....I reserved our hotel room for our vacation yesterday. I am so excited. We got the hotel we want and we are only paying $40 a night thanks to my wonderful Aunt!!! It is nothing fancy, but it has a pool and a make-your-own-Belgian-waffle-bar at their free continental breakfast. It is really close to a lot of the places we are going. I think it is going to work out really well. I have been requesting info off the Internet and have printed off a few coupons. I even found a "Coca-Cola family fun" coupon for the North Pole amusement park for $5 off a person. That's $15 we will save right there! Hello souvenirs!! Everything costs so much more than I remember. Every cent we can save will help.
I also went to Dollar Tree today and got a few fun things to give Natalie on the trip there. I just picked up some drawing paper, a notebook, some pens and pencils, stickers, and a couple of card games. I will get a few more cheap things, wrap them up and let her choose something every couple of hours. I really hope this will help with some of the boredom that will inevitable come with a 8+ hour drive. I am going to get a few things for Vanessa too. We will take the portable DVD player and some movies, some books and some cd's. I am sure how ever much I take it won't seem like enough though!
I am getting so excited to take an actual family vacation. Larry and I have traveled together before and it was great...but this is going to be so special. All four of us seeing new things and doing fun stuff. I love that we are getting to show our kids things they don't see everyday in Kansas. Traveling and being aware of other places is so important to me and I want to pass that on to my girls. So far we haven't had the money or resources to go on a real vacation. I am so pleased that this year we are making it work.
So, enough rambling about something that is not even going to happen for another month (we leave June 1st..our 6th anniversary). And I don't really have anything else to say! Have a wonderful day and enjoy the weather. Sounds like it's going to rain quite a bit the rest of the week.

Updates and cute pictures

Let me start by saying I am feeling better today. It has changed from a sharp stabbing pain to more of a dull throbbing pain. Much better! With my mom helping out all day Wednesday and Larry taking off and helping me yesterday I actually had a chance to start healing. And I got some sleep last night. Vanessa is feeling better. It is amazing how fast antibiotics work on a baby. She is still kind of messing with her ears, but she is happier now. I woke up in the middle of the night and for the first time in a long time went and checked to make sure she was still breathing. She was and everything was fine, it was just weird that we were still sleeping!

This whole week I wanted to post about what a wonderful weekend we had and how well Vanessa's birthday party went. And now it is almost weekend again!

Here are the pictures from JC Penney's that we had taken for Nessa's first birthday. They were coming out pretty cute until both girls decided they were d-o-n-e! We still got a few cute ones!

Just to fill you in

I have hurt my back. It really, really sucks. I can barely move. What I think happened is I pulled a muscle when I was throwing up. Don't you wish you were me? And that's not all....
Vanessa has an ear infection. The poor little girl hurts so much. She just wants to be held and snuggled and then in the next minute if you so much as hold her hand she screams at you. And she is not sleeping, which means I'm not sleeping either.
It can only get better, right?!?