Just some stuff

Allison's vocabulary is rapidly expanding. She can now say Mama, Dada, Nana, shoes, Sissy, more, and (the most commonly used word) this. She points to anything and everything and says/asks/screams "THIS". She is growing up too quickly if you ask me.
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Vanessa's potty training is at a virtual stand-still. She is in pull ups but treats them like diapers. She loves to sit on the potty and read or just relax, but she very, very rarely goes. She also likes to wear panties around the house but this, more often then not, turns messy quickly.
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Natalie is doing really well in school. She has really blossomed over the last couple of months in her reading and writing. One of her favorite activities is getting some paper and a pencil and writing anything and everything. She has made Keep Out signs for her bedroom door, I Love You cards for all of us, and has written endless amounts of stories. I can't always read what she has written because she sounds out the word and then spells it accordingly. There are very few vowels used! But I am proud of her for trying. She is such a little smarty-pants.
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Speaking of my smarty-pants...last night she came out of her room with a piece of paper. The title at the top was "Kid's Day". When I asked her what this was she told me it was a holiday between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Of course. She had come up with a list of the gifts she hoped to receive on the "Best Holiday Ever". Included was an easy bake oven, a cell phone, a lap top, money, a TV, an alarm clock, and a couch. When I asked her what she needed all of these things for she informed me that she was thinking of moving to the basement! The last thing on the list, and maybe the most important, was getting her ears pierced. She really wants to do this despite my every effort to dissuade her. I'm not ready for my baby to get any holes in her head that aren't supposed to be there!
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Blech.

There is a stomach bug going around. Just thought you should know.


My kids have been sick. Yucky sick. Throwing up all over me sick. It has not been fun.

First it was Allison. At 11:30 one night she woke up crying. I went and got her from her crib and headed to the living room. I got as far as the hallway when all sorts of gross burst from my baby. It was not pretty. She did that a few more times throughout the night. After our second changes of clothes I just gathered a few t-shirts for me and sleepers for her and put them on the table in front of the couch. I would get up, wipe us off, change our clothes, and go back to sleep. It was a wonderful night, let me tell you. She spent the next morning acting a bit weak and still not eating anything, but after a nice long nap she was back to her normal self.

Then Friday morning Natalie woke up with a stomach ache. Since Allie had just gotten over this VERY THING you think I would know what was coming. Apparently I have a very short memory. I took her temperature and when it came up as normal decided she could go to school. She kind of wanted to go. Her book report was due and it was hat day! So off she went. It was about 12:30 when I got that dreaded call. Nat had thrown up on her way in from recess. The little girls and I raced over to pick her up. She was laying in the nurse's office coloring when I got there. I told her I was so sorry that I hadn't listened to her that morning about her stomach ache.

On our way home Vanessa and Allison fell asleep...as they usually do at that time of day. When Vanessa woke up an hour or so later she was clutching her stomach. "My tummy hurt Mama." Uh oh. I gave her a big bowl and she proceeded to sit on the couch with her head resting in the bowl for a while. We all knew what was coming. And come it did. She threw up (in the bowl because we were so prepared). The rest of the day was not very fun.

Nat never threw up again, but is still having some tummy troubles today. I kept her home from school so she could fully recuperate. Vanessa did throw up again in the middle of the night, but since then has been pretty much back to normal. There is something still going on with Allie, but I'm just not sure what it is. She hasn't slept at night since Friday. She will fall asleep in my arms if I am holding her a certain way, but if I put her down she starts screaming. Not just crying, but screaming. She does this ALL night. She has had an off and on fever, but nothing long term. I am tempted to blame it on the molars I can see coming in. They are big and they look like they hurt. But with all the sickness going around I just can't bring myself to rule out anything.

I'm sure after reading this you are all insanely jealous you don't live in our house. I'm going to go back to babying my babies. They deserve it.
(coming soon: our trip to Sesame Street Live amidst all this sick.)

Today's Funnies

Vanessa pooped in her diaper today (we are still working on potty-training). I was teasing her.
"Hey, Stinky Pants, come here!"
"I not Stinky Pants. I NESSA!"
"Hey, Stinky McStinkerson, come here!"
"I not Stinky McStinkerson! I NESSA!"
"Hey, Smelly Girl, come here!"
"I not Smelly Girl!!! I NESSA!!!!"
"OK Nessa. Come here."
...and then very calmly....
"Nessa is still poopin'."
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My girls love to dance. We are always having what we call Kitchen Dance Parties. I turn on my MP3 player to one of their favorite songs and we get our groove on. Today we were dancing like no one was watching (and thankfully, no one was) and I look over at my little one year old baby bopping to the beat. And then suddenly her hand went back and she began a new dance. One I had never seen her do before. I have only ever referred to it as the "ass-smack" dance. You know the one. Where you smack your own ass repeatedly. Allison was doing that dance. Natalie proudly announced, "I taught her that!!!" I about died from laughing. It was one of the most hysterical, ridiculous things I have ever seen. And I have to admit...I was more than a little proud. My girls got moves!

Morning Glory

Every so often we have a great morning around here. A morning when all things just fall into place. Vanessa and Allison both sleep in just enough to let me get a few extra minutes of wake up time but not enough to make us rushed or late. Natalie wakes up happy and ready to start the day. She gets dressed without complaint and is agreeable when it comes time to brush her hair and teeth. Breakfast is served and we all eat while we laugh and talk around our dining room table. This morning was not one of those mornings.
I woke up to a tiny little finger poking me in the face. Not the best way to come out of dreamland. I opened my eyes to see Vanessa wide-eyed and wanting to watch some Dora. It was a good thirty minutes before we usually get up. I know thirty minutes doesn't sound like much, but when you are up several times throughout the night with a baby who won't sleep those minutes are essential. I groaned and lifted her up into bed with me, hoping she would lie down and snuggle with me for a bit. No such luck. She wiggled and squirmed until I finally gave in and we headed to the living room for our mandatory AM Dora watching. I laid down on the couch only to hear Allie begin stirring a second later. At that point I resigned myself to the fact that our day had begun.
Of course on the day the two little ones wake up early, Natalie decides she wants to sleep in. Every few minutes I would go into the bedroom, shake her still sleeping shoulders and tell her she needed to wake up and get ready for school. Finally I flipped on the light, pulled back the covers, and told her if she didn't get up right that very minute she was going to school in her panties and t-shirt. She reluctantly staggered out of bed. And that was the high point of the morning...it just went downhill from there.
I pulled out one of her favorite princess sweatshirts and some black leggings for her to change into and left the room. I went to prepare her lunch for school and as I was packing up her lunchbox I heard what can only be described as a howl from the bedroom. I ran to Nat, imagining broken bones or a bloody head. What I found was my six-year-old writhing on the floor with her pants pulled up only half way. "THESE PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT!!!" I reminded her that she had just worn those pants this weekend and declared them the only pants she could wear. Ever. "But they are too TIGHT," she cried. There were tears and screams and arms and legs thrashing about. And she was pretty upset too. She dug around in her drawers, leaving a pile of clean, perfectly fine clothes on the floor until she found a suitable pair of pants (one that she refused to wear to school last week because they were too LONG). I threw up my arms in surrender and ushered her into the bathroom. I won't even go into the battle that ensued when I went to brush her hair. Or the fight we had about whether or not five seconds was an acceptable length of teeth brushing time. Let's just say it wasn't pretty.
We finally got out the door and drove to school. I turned the radio loud and we all rode in a welcome silence. Just before we arrived at her school I pulled over to the side of the road and told Natalie to come to the front of the van. She did so with much trepidation. She knew that after the morning we had I wasn't a happy Mama. But when she got to me I pulled her into my arms and sat her on my lap. We hugged for a minute and then I told her that no matter what I always love her. I may have times when I don't like her much, but I always love her. She nodded and buried her face in my shoulder. I heard her muffled voice reply, "I love you too". I kissed the top of her head and she got back in her seat. We got the her school and before she climbed out she gave me our standard kiss and hug. "I love you Nat. Tomorrow we will get a better start to our day."

A house divided

When people find out I am a die-hard Kansas fan and Larry is a die-hard North Carolina fan we get one of two reactions. The first is to laugh and say something like, "Well....that must be fun." The second is to ask how we make it through the season without divorcing. And let me tell you, there have been years where it has been harder then others.
Remember when KU had to go through UNC to get to the National Championship? Yeah, we couldn't even watch that game in the same room. We made an agreement beforehand to not even talk about it afterwards. I knew that it would just be too hard for the winning spouse (ME) not to go too far in the certain face rubbing that would ensue. Not that we are competitive or anything. (For the sake of full disclosure, I couldn't stop myself from exclaiming just a bit of triumph.)
Both of our teams have had years where one has had more success than the other. Since we have been together we have both won at least one Championship. Maybe it makes it a little easier that we both have dependably great teams. Until this year.
UNC is having a bad year. A really bad year. At this point they are going to have to perform miracles for an NCAA tournament bid. They are loosing in a conference that is having a down year anyway. KU is ranked number one. Just sayin'. I have tried to keep my gloating to a minimum. Have I asked him if he wants to steal Bill Self like he stole Roy Williams? Yes. Do I ask him if his team is loosing tonight instead of asking him if they are simply playing? Yes. Do I take any and all opportunities to point out just how bad UNC is playing? Yes. But I do it in a classy way. Most of the time. I'm sure he thinks so too.
This will not be the year that basketball ruins our marriage. That will never happen. We may have team loyalties that are at odds with each other, but when it comes down to it we are strong enough to overcome that rivalry. We may be angry with each other for a while, but ultimately, we can be happy for the other. But you might want to ask me again when KU is having a down year and UNC is number one. I might have a different take on it at that point.

We were ready for some football....kind of....

What is there not to love about the Super Bowl? From the heart-warming stories they put together for the all day pre-game shows to the mountains of confetti falling on the winning players after the clock reads 0:00. I love it all.
We had a great time with all the festivities yesterday. Larry grilled steaks for us and cheeseburgers for the girls. I made a crock pot full of little smokies. Natalie was the only health conscious one of us all, making a vegetable medley of baby carrots, celery, tomatoes, and peas. We ate as a family while listening to the TV in the other room play the national anthem.
After dinner we sat down to watch the game. Natalie and Vanessa got into the spirit of things. Too bad they were rooting for a team that wasn't there. They both ran around the living room in circles chanting "Let's Go Jayhawks!" After I finally convinced them that the teams were Indy and New Orleans Natalie asked me if it was my New Orleans. I've talked to her a lot about how much I love that city and she has seen our honeymoon pictures over and over. I told her yes, it was my city and I wanted them to win. She agreed. Then she asked me if New Orleans was a new city. When I told her it was actually a very old city she decided the name was silly and for the rest of the night I had to cheer for Old Orleans.
I should have known their interest in the game wouldn't last long. After the coin toss, which NOLA won, she thought it was all over. "They WON Mom!!" Then as they started lining up on the field she asked what they were doing. I told her they were going to kick off. She wanted to know where they kicked it to. I told her they kicked it to the other team so they could try to score. Her eyes got wide, "Does he know he is going to kick it to the other team?" She then turned to the TV and shouted at the kicker, "Don't Do It Guy!!!!" She didn't understand why I couldn't stop laughing.
That was about the extent of their Super Bowl watching experience for this year. After I put them to bed I finally got to sit and enjoy the rest of the game. It was a fun game to watch! I was so excited to see New Orleans pull off the win. If any city deserves a big victory like that it is New Orleans. I hope everyone else enjoyed the Super Bowl as much as we did.

Sad.

Last night I got some news about a friend who is going through a horribly hard time. The news wasn't good. I won't go into it too much out of respect for her privacy but I do have this to say:

GO HUG YOUR KIDS!!!!

If you are a parent your first priority should be your babies. They rely solely on you for their well being. Please take that responsibility seriously. You must protect them with EVERYTHING you have. You must put them above anything and everything else. You MUST stand up for them because they can't stand up for themselves.

Sorry this post is such a downer. That is where my thinking is right now. I'm sad and angry and confused. After my good friend called last night to tell me what what going on with our mutual friend I couldn't stop crying . I went in to check on my sleeping kids and found it very hard not to scoop them up out of their beds and snuggle them into the night. I did kiss their perfect little heads and whispered I Love Yous in their ears. My promise to them is that I will be there for them for as long as I am on this earth. I will be their biggest advocate, their biggest fan, their biggest supporter, and above all else, their biggest source of love and security. Because I am a Mom and that is my job.

Selective amnesia

I remember laying in my hospital bed right after having Natalie, marveling at how perfect she was, in awe of how much I already loved her. I also remember thinking, "why in the world would anyone go through this torture twice?". The pain was still fresh in my mind. My brain and body could still feel the HOURS of agony, of laying on my side, clutching the bed rails, crying and counting to ten over and over and over. And I never wanted to go through it again.

Fast forward two and half years as Larry and I relaxed while our not-so-much-a-baby-anymore slept soundly in her crib. "I think I want another baby." Larry agreed for some reason and nine months later there I was laying in a hospital bed, wishing for relief and wondering again why anyone would willingly do this to themselves.

The brain is a funny thing. It remembers things that you would rather forget and forgets things you really should remember. Four years ago Natalie was two. When I think about that time the images that come back to me are all seen through rose colored glasses. Her chubby legs clad in cable knit tights. Her face as she saw her giant Dora balloon for her birthday. Her joy as she ran across the yard, because she could RUN without FALLING and it was great. The things that don't immediately come to mind are the tantrums. The realization that she could say no and mean it. Her stubborn streak rearing it's ugly head. Those things are all in my memory somewhere, but I seem to have buried them pretty deep because now, as Vanessa is in the midst of her terrible twos and knocking on the door of her tyrannical threes I am finding myself surprised at the change in my baby.

Nessa has always been my sweetie. She is a snuggler of the highest order. She enjoys helping. She is compassionate. She is just wonderful. Most of the time..... Lately she has found her inner hellion and brings her out more every day. Now I ask her to help pick up and more often then not she says, "NO! Don't Want To" and crosses her arms over her chest and stomps off. She gets mad at me and throws fits that involve tears, screams, and flopping herself on the floor. She sets her mouth and will. not. budge when she doesn't want to. I can no longer put my smiling baby in the car seat, buckle her up, and go. Now she has to do everything. And she could care less how much of a hurry we are in. I do it! Go away! And five minutes later we are still sitting in the driveway, me pleading with her to just let me do it so we can go. Her, steadfast in her resolve to buckle the damn clasp herself.

I do love so much about this age, including the budding independence (most of the time). She is still my baby that will run to me if faced with any level of danger, fear, or joy. She is still a champion snuggler. She still takes my face in her hands and gives me a big sloppy kiss, grins, and tells me just how much she loves me. And then she runs off to climb up on a chair to reach the chocolate sauce on the top shelf of the fridge. Or to hide in the bathroom, putting massive amounts of a lipstick that wasn't hidden well enough all over her face. Or to rip up one of the paintings Natalie brought home from school (which of course is always her favorite). She is the epitome of normal when it comes to this age. And for that I'm grateful. Although I could do without the attitude. I'm going to get enough of that when they are all teenagers.

Comeback Tour 2010

So, where did I leave off?



It has been awhile since I last posted on my blog. That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. I have. Endlessly. Things would happen and I would WANT to run to my computer and document it for posterity. But as we all know, wanting to do something and actually doing it are two totally different things. Was it a lack of time? A lack of inspiration? A lack of determination? Or was it the fact that I have three kids, a job, a husband, two dogs, and a house to keep up? My brain is always in go mode and when I have some down time I like to do things that don't require much in the way of brain-usage. I am really good at those things. I could go to the Olympics in those things.



But enough of the excuses! Time to move on and reclaim my little spot on the Internet. And this time I will keep it up. Or at least try....

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So much has happened in the last five months. For one, I turned 30. The big 3-0. I was expecting it to be a hard birthday to get through. I didn't particularly want to leave my roaring twenties, it was a great decade. I was expecting to have one of those "what have I done with my life?" moments. There wasn't one of those moments, probably because I looked around me and saw three of the most wonderful things I could have done EVER running around, screaming, laughing, and living a happy, healthy, fun life. My kids are accomplishment enough. They annoy me and aggravate me and drive me completely insane. They also make me happy, and proud, and have brought more love to my life then I ever thought possible.
My birthday came and went and I was 30 and ok with it. But then three days later my baby turned one. That hurt. It hurt bad. Allison will be our last baby if all goes according to plan (and it better). It has been harder to accept her growing up then it was with the first two because I know I will never go through these years again. I will never again experience all the "firsts" that come in that busy year from birth to birthday. And that makes me a little sad. Not sad enough to have another baby, but sad just the same. We had a little birthday party here at the house, just family and close friends. She loved it. Especially her first taste of cake and ICING...oh, the icing. She was still licking it off of her hands as I attempted to wash it off in the bathtub. She loved the presents, the singing, all the people there to celebrate her! How could I be sad when she was so obviously on cloud nine?
As if all that were not enough to make me feel old, Natalie had the nerve to turn 6 in December. I can't believe I am the mother of a six-year-old. A kindergartner. A big, independent, smart, funny, wonderful six-year-old with a mind of her own. It just boggles my mind. She comes home from school full of new information she can't wait to share with us. Last night it was a song about the months of the year. She did great except with those middle months when she got a little confused. I tried to tell her Aprilvember was not actually a month, but what do I know? It has been a while since I've been in school....

So the gist of this rambling post is we are doing well. Great, really. I'm glad to be back writing about the things that matter the most to me. Now I've just got to keep up with it. As the little train said, I think I can, I think I can....

And that's how you know you should go on a diet....

This is an actual conversation that Natalie and I had this morning as we were getting ready for the day. I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or cry.

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Natalie: Mom, it looks like my wish came true!

Me: That's great! Which wish came true?

Natalie: Remember last time I wished for a new baby and then you had Allie?

Me: Ummmmmm, yeah?

Natalie: I wished for a new baby again and look at your tummy!!! It is big!!! There is another baby in there!!!

Me: No there isn't.

Natalie: But your tummy is so BIG!

Me: There is no baby.

Natalie: But pull up your shirt Mom. Look at it!

Me: Just brush your teeth Nat.

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Just for the record...there is absolutely NO baby in my tummy. So if you see me out and about please don't ask when I'm due. I'm getting enough of that at home.

Stories of my girls......

Vanessa is really starting to talk. One of my favorite conversations is when I tell Vanessa I love her. She answers "very much". My heart aches from the sweetness of my girl.

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I ask Natalie how school went. She won't tell me anything until much later when things begin slipping out gradually. As we eat dinner she mentions her fear of the monkey bars at recess. As I get her out of the bath she tells me about the book the librarian read to them and the accompanying puppet show. As we pack her lunch she tells me about sharing her cookies with her fifth-grade friend on the bus on the way home. I never push her, but by the end of the evening I usually feel that I have the gist of her day.

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Allison has begun chewing. Her little cheeks puff out and her two little teeth work at the food. It is one of the cutest things ever. One of the best parts of the day is sitting her in her high chair, giving her some cheerios, and just watching her eat. It is better then any TV show in history.

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As much trouble as I am having with this whole "growing up" thing my kids are doing, I am doing my absolute best to enjoy those little moments that pass all too quickly. I am having fun with my girls. I miss the years that have gone by but I'm also looking forward to all the years yet to come.

August 18th, 2009

Today was my baby girl's first day of Kindergarten. Ok, so technically she isn't a baby anymore. She is a big girl. A smart, beautiful, funny, kind, silly, polite big girl.

She was so excited. It didn't take much to get her out of bed this morning. She even woke up with a smile on her face. I think she was a little nervous even though she told me she wasn't at all. In the car, on the way she told me her tummy felt a little bad but not to worry because it would feel better soon. I laughed and told her I knew just how she felt!

I parked the car and before I could even get all her supplies and things together she was out of the car waiting on the grass. Then we walked together up the sidewalk and into the building she will get to know very well over this next school year. The first tears I felt in my eyes came when we were standing in the hall waiting for her Kindergarten door to open and her first day to start. The 8:50 bell rang and she looked up at me with her eyes wide, "What was that for?" I told her that meant that school was getting ready to start. She smiled at me and turned around just as her teacher opened to door to greet her. I held the tears in and walked my first born into her classroom.

She put her lunch in the basket, gave her backpack and supplies to her teacher, and was directed to choose a spot and play with some play-doh. She didn't hesitate. Off she went, picking a seat with pink play-doh in front of it (of course). I went with her to get her settled and give her one last hug and kiss. She held out the tub of play-doh and asked me sweetly if I would open it for her. Time to hold in the second round of tears. She has relied on me for everything for these last five and half years and I knew that after I opened that tub my job would be over....at least until 4:05!!

We gave each other big hugs and kisses and I told her how excited I was for her and how proud I am of her and then I left. I looked back as I went out the door and she was busy playing and already having fun in her new classroom. As I walked down the hall I felt good. Natalie is in her element. She is outgoing and eager to learn. School is exactly what she needs. She didn't cry as I left or tell me not to go. She jumped right in and that makes me happy in a way I didn't know was possible.

All day I have found myself wondering what she is doing. How lunch went. If she make it to the bathroom when she needed to. If she has made any new friends. If she loves it as much as I think she is going to. I will admit that on the way home I let a few tears escpae my eyes. I can't wait to pick her up and hear all about her day. And tonight I will be stealing extra hugs and snuggles, knowing that no matter where she spends her days she is always at home with me. She is always my baby girl.

A letter from my mom

Dear friends and family,

I'm asking Loni to post this message on her facebook and blog and wherever she thinks we might reach loved ones. I've also asked her to post it exactly as written without editing the part about her sainthood, which she will be tempted to do. :)

As you all know by now, Mike had a stroke on Wednesday, June 9th. Physically he's doing very well. He has weakness on his right side, but the therapists tell me that should be fixed with rehab and exercises. The stroke affected his speech and you know what a champion talker he is so this has made his awfully frustrated. The therapists and doctors all say "no crystal ball- but we should see constant improvement with time and therapy." Everyone has told us stories of success that they are all aware of, so I'm optimistic. Mike, the consummate pessimist, isn't so sure. We'll just have to prove it to him.

He does have a blood clot in a brain vessel that they are watching. It isn't going anywhere, but they have to make sure that blood can get around it to all the parts of his brain.

I've told Mike that after all the phone and computer well wishes, thoughts, and messages to us and to Loni, I'm going to start calling him George Bailey (as in It's A Wonderful Life). You really do find out how much people love and care about you when something like this happens. We're SO lucky to have the family that we have. I can't say enough about the support and help they give. Within an hour of arriving at the ER our niece and two of my brothers and a sister-in-law were here with us. Of course Loni, my rock, met us at the door. I can't even begin to express what Loni means to us and what she does for us. And with three little girls five and under it's not easy for her. You can refer back to family for the thanks for all the help for her to be able to be with us as much as possible. She's been a communicator, cheerleader, and just general love of our lives. I thank God for her everyday. And of course, the first day that Mike was here at the hospital, Natalie and Vanessa, our precious granddaughters, made their Papa cards for his windowsill. I'm sure Allison would have also if she older than seven months!

My coworkers have been wonderful! Coming to the ER and making sure that Mike is getting the best possible care that they can do anything about. Let alone assuring me that they understand that my place is with Mike and to not worry about the work on my desk or anything else. Thank you so much ladies. I love you all.

I'm thankful that the four days before this happened, Mike and I spent together and being happy. A laid back weekend with movies, homemade pizza and celebrating our 40th anniversary on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday we spent at Kanopolis Lake and Mike got to do a little fishing. Not much due to the weather, but a little anyway.

With finances a little tight this year, my anniversary gift to Mike was a love letter. The first line was "I've known since I was 15 that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I haven't changed my mind". I still haven't changed it, and I never will.

Please send Mike your good thoughts and prayers. We love all of you.

Patty.

UPDATE BY LONI (Saturday 4pm): Yesterday they found what appeared to be a hole in Dad's heart. Today they did a more extensive test and did determine that there is a defect (hole) and some blockage. We don't yet know how much blockage as this info came from a nurse, not an actual doctor. So now we wait. The doctor should come consult with us on Monday as to what the next steps are. Treatment for the heart could range from taking a few pills every day to surgery. We, of course, are hoping surgery of any kind is not necessary.

Dad is still very frustrated with the lack of communication. He understands everything we say and knows exactly what he WANTS to say, but he just can't get his brain to relay it through his mouth. But I KNOW that soon he will. It is just going to take some hard work and patience. But he can do it. And with two world-class nags such as my mom and myself behind him, he really has no choice!!

I also wanted to thank everyone for being there for us during this time. I have the best friends and family ever. I truly believe that.

I love my Dad so much. I have always been a daddy's girl, and it is so hard to see him like this. I am looking forward to a time when my dad and I can talk basketball for hours on the phone again or he can take Natalie for a walk though the fields to find various animal homes. But the important thing is that we still have him. Now we all just have to work to get him back to being "him".

Seven Years and Counting

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On an incredibly hot Saturday seven years ago I walked down a grass aisle and said "I Do" to the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Now, after years of ups, downs, and in betweens I still want forever with this guy:We have done a lot in the last seven years. We have had a daughter. And then another daughter. And finally, one more daughter! We have traveled. We have stayed home. We have fought. We have made up. We have laughed. We have cried. Above all we have loved. Because apparently, he still wants forever with this girl:Happy Anniversary Larry. I love you then, now, and always.

My favorite pictures from a wonderful Saturday.

Hey, Nat! Are you ready for the hay rack ride?!?

******** Nana and the girls

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Allie and my friend Lacey.

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Exploring with Dad.

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Playing in the water with Kyndal. Nat and Kyndal got along GREAT and played all day!

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My life-long friend Sarah (on the right) and my new friend Jaime (whom I finally got to meet IN PERSON this weekend....and I liked her just as much as I thought I would!! And Vanessa fell completely in love with her!)

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Quite possibly my favorite picture of the entire weekend.

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Just look at that happy face and those chubby thighs!!

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My beautiful little Pixie ready to take a hay rack ride.

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All the kiddies. Notice the lack of boys!

(Allison, Kyndal, Kali, Vanessa, Natalie, Jamie, and Taylor)
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Lovin' on Nana.

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She is so photogenic! Especially when she is having this much fun!

Many tears.

My baby graduated from Pre-K yesterday and I'm still crying. I started yesterday morning in the van after I dropped her off for her last day/dress rehearsal. I thought I was done until a couple of minutes ago when I was reading another woman's blog about HER daughter graduating preschool and well she was doing with it. I thought "good for her" as more tears leaked from my eyes. I cried when Natalie was sad she wasn't going to see her teacher or her friends any more. I cried when that made me realize that I wasn't going to be seeing any of the parents that I had come to know and like throughout the year. I even cried when she was upset they didn't have a snack on the last day due to getting out early for the graduation ceremony.

I have obviously kept most of this crying away from Natalie. I don't want her to be upset about something that should only be fun and exciting. She couldn't even begin to understand if I explained to her that I was mourning the passing of a big stage in her life and that I was not ready to accept the next stage she is moving towards. Full day Kindergarten scares the crap out of me and August seems much too soon to be sending my little girl out into the world without being by her side the majority of the time. I realize that after a while it will get easier and I will more than likely come to look forward to the breaks it will give me. Right now all I see is my baby girl growing up and I am not accepting it well.

I love this child

Driving on the way to Natalie's dairy farm field trip last Friday we passed an animal lying in the street that had been hit by a car. Natalie asked what it was. Not wanting to get into it I just said I wasn't sure. As she gazed out the window she shrugged and said very casually, "must have been a dead lemur."

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Every year we go to the opening day River Festival sun down parade and this year was no different. At one point in the parade there was a group of Harley riding men in wigs (yeah.). One of the burly men wearing a long blond wig held up his fingers and gave Natalie the peace sign. Natalie smiled and did it back to him. She then turned to me and was all excited, "We just said 'two' to each other!!"

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An essential part of Natalie's, Vanessa's and my bedtime routine is snuggling up together on my bed and reading three or four books. They take turns picking the books and sometimes I veto them altogether and we read what I choose. The other night it was Vanessa's turn to pick and we read a Valentine's Day Dora book. They both enjoyed it and participated throughout. At the very end Dora and Boots are having a picnic. Dora is sitting on her knees and Natalie pointed to her with certainty. "She is going to have bad knees when she gets older." Apparently her teacher tells her that at school. I love that she is already concerned about the health of not only hers, but also Dora's, knees.

All in the name of getting my kids to eat.

Natalie is one of the pickiest people I know. Everything drives her insane. The little bumps on her socks where they are seemed at the toes makes her cry in agony. A twist in her seat belt has her screeching and screaming. And then there are mealtimes. She has a select variety of foods she will ingest willingly and trying something new requires me to go to drastic measures to make it fun and exciting. And even then she will moan and pout about how she knows she won't like it because it's GROSS!!!!

One of the tools I use to get her to eat is a theme meal. I make something new and create other dishes that go along with it. It makes it an event rather than an ambush (because that is how she views my attempts to get her to eat). Since the girls seem to like these fun mealtimes I use them quite often, new foods included or not. Today's lunch theme was "Orange you glad your mama feeds you?". All the foods were orange, or a variation of it. They ate bagel bites, mandarin oranges, carrot sticks, goldfish crackers, and fruit punch. They ate happily and I was satisfied they were eating something at least a little healthier than candy or Happy Meals. Score one for me!

Vanessa turns 2!

The birthday girl!

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The sisters.

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Cake!!

*******Her "big" gift from us.....a ride-on horse.

*******YEE HAW!!

*******The group on the train.

*******Pure happiness.

A whole bunch of random pictures!

A smile that could light up a room!

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Vanessa is MAD!

......................................................Allison Kaia at five months.

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A Very Sick Easter:

This Easter all my girls were sick with the horrible "mono-like virus" that had us all home bound for a couple of weeks. We were very low-key this holiday. My mom and dad braved the germs and came over Saturday to give the girls their Easter surprises. We dyed some eggs and left them out for the Easter Bunny, who did not disappoint! When we got up Sunday morning the eggs were hidden and the girls had Easter baskets full of goodies. My babies didn't feel well, but we had as much fun as we could.

Natalie finding her Easter basket.

..............................Vanessa was too sick to even look for hers, so I brought it to her.

............................A little while later they both felt a little better so we went hunting for the eggs the bunny had hidden. What a smart bunny hiding the eggs inside since it was cold and rainy outside!

...............................Allie had to get in on the action too.

............................Natalie dressed herself that day. She would wear these boots with anything and everything if I let her. (Thanks Carisa!)

...........................................Allison's first official meal of rice cereal. She liked it but kept smiling so much that it would just fall out!

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HONK!

My big girl ready to go see her cousins in HONK, a musical based on the story of the Ugly Duckling. She gave the performance two thumbs up!

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Three of my most favorite people in the world.

.......................................My nightlife. This is where I sit and read when the girls go to bed. That is one of the Twilight books there on the arm of the love seat. I curl up with a blanket and a drink and read by the soft light of the lamp. It is peaceful and calm and above all, quiet. It is one of my favorite parts of the day.